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When did you 1st start experiencing confusion?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by SonicBoom, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. SonicBoom

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    I noticed that I'm kind of an oddball here because I'm forty and I first started questioning a month ago. : eek:


    To me, I consider my new interest in women a journey of self exploration. I don't consider what I'm going through as a "struggle".

    So far on my journey, I've "suffered" very little.

    Here is more about me.

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexua...166239-just-started-questioning-age-40-a.html

    My heart goes out to everyone who is TRULY SUFFERING through this. My heart especially goes out to those who are SUFFERING through this in their teen years.

    Hugs to all.

    I have a few questions for y'all.

    When did you first questioning your sexuality?

    How difficult has journey of sexual discovery been?
     
  2. Scifiguy338

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    When I started questioning is unclear. I heard the term gay but I was primarily into romance with girls, though I could have been thought of as 'sexually gay', in terms of my first sexual desires. One time I was so upset that I couldn't feel anything sexual for girls, even when I was in love with them, that I practically forced myself to see them sexually. Suddenly there was this growing sexual attraction to them. My process of questioning was gradual due to the mix of different attractions.
    My journey of sexual discovery is still continuing, and I don't know where it will go, but I'm pretty open.
     
  3. inkycradle

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    I started questioning when I was around 20 years old. I was so in love with my then girl friend / best friend / soulmate. However, being the only guy in the family and having almost no father figure, I found myself yearning for a guy best friend. And this yearning, over time, somehow, grew to admiration and when I was 24, I started to sexually like guys.

    I, until now, am still in love with my now ex-gf, and still find certain attraction (mostly emotional and a little physical) with women. However, sexually, I am attracted to men.

    I guess when or how you started questioning becomes irrelevant when you have accepted yourself. Before, I was really bothered trying to "classify" my emotions and sexuality, but now, I hardly care about it.
     
  4. inkycradle

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    I started questioning when I was around 20 years old. I was so in love with my then girl friend / best friend / soulmate. However, being the only guy in the family and having almost no father figure, I found myself yearning for a guy best friend. And this yearning, over time, somehow, grew to admiration and when I was 24, I started to sexually like guys.

    I, until now, am still in love with my now ex-gf, and still find certain attraction (mostly emotional and a little physical) with women. However, sexually, I am attracted to men.

    I guess when or how you started questioning becomes irrelevant when you have accepted yourself. Before, I was really bothered trying to "classify" my emotions and sexuality, but now, I hardly care about it.
     
  5. SonicBoom

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    Scifi, I love the fact that you said you are "pretty open".

    I think that being open (to whatever sexual possibility you may become) is EXTREMELY important.

    I definitely know that there are some people out there that it would be the end of the world if they are not 100% straight.

    (*hug*)
     
  6. waitwhat

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    The very first time I "questioned" my sexuality was when I was 16, but it was like a one time question that I pushed away. I knew I liked guys, always had crushes on them, thought they were attractive, blah blah blah. I was never exposed to any part of the LGBT community until high school either. But I full on started questioning last year at 21.
     
  7. Whisper

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    I was 15 or 16 when I seriously started questioning, having finally met some openly lesbian and bi girls I felt like I could talk to. I had an eye for attractive women long before that (as long as I can remember), but I told myself it was more of admiration of wanting to look like them, and (while sometimes that's true) I didn't admit that I was really into them romantically/sexually. Lots of denial there.

    I generally don't like labels, but the journey has been frustrating because I have wanted a label for myself. I want to know who and what I am. Then of course there's religious family and lots of rejection up ahead.
     
  8. chocolate dream

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    I first started questioning my sexuality when i was 13.I was confused for a few years and didnt know for sure until i was 16.Id just started my first job and had the biggest crush on a woman who worked there.THATS when i knew!
    This was also the time when i confided in my twin sister.We are really close and tell each other pretty much everything.Looking back,i cant believe i didnt tell her sooner.Shows how much of a struggle i was having.
     
  9. rellyus

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    I never really thought about it too much until recently. I've always dated women and felt OK with that, but sexually something wasn't right. I still don't know if I'm bi or gay. I'm definitely attracted to men but not sure about women.
     
  10. Jax12

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    When I broke up with my first girlfriend, I thought that maybe it didn't work because I was gay. Well that didn't make sense because I never had feelings for guys, and I only started questioning myself when I'm 18, which is extremely odd when you think about it.

    Never had feelings for guys, yet I could imagine having sex with older men, and yet for a period of time, I identified as gay.

    Seems more of a internal struggle between father and son if you ask me, since physical satisfaction and often be confused with emotional satisfaction.
     
  11. SoulSearcher

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    I first started struggling when i witnessed a youtuber who i thought was completly straight come out as gay. it hit me like a brick and i thought omg what if i am gay??
     
  12. MrSkittles

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    When I was around the age of 10. I was asking myself why I was staring at boys and what if I was gay.
     
  13. womaninamber

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    When I was in high school I had this dream that I was kissing a girl. I told myself the girl was just a symbol for something (and she probably was, I didn't know her well and she didn't like me.) But I kind of liked the dream and that made me question a little. Then later on I thought I might be having feelings for this female friend of mine, but the only adult I told told me that she would never feel that way for me and I couldn't be gay so I shouldn't think about it and I was liking and dating boys so I figured she must be right.

    Then I discovered I didn't enjoy sex with men, but I didn't really put the two together until a lot later. (And I'm still not sure they belong together.)
     
  14. borgishmorg

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    I started questioning at 12/13 and accepted who I was at 13. Just wondered what gay porn was like, then looked at some, and was like...wow.
     
  15. Beebop

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    About 1.5 years ago, I started developing romantic feelings for someone I thought was a friend. After hanging out for a while, I was pretty sure they were trying to convey to me that they were gay. But I think she was just gaming me to see if she could get me to admit to something. Hanging out with me was never a priority and she would happily shove the fact that while she couldn't hang out with me, she seemed to have no trouble finding the time to hang out with others.

    Prior to this, I never had any romantic/sexual interest in women. I'm numb about it all at this point, but not numb enough. It's a gnawing pain that can't be accurately described. It's the last thing I need to deal with on top of everything else going on in my life and feels like one huge, wickedly cruel joke.
     
  16. PositivelyMe

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    I was about fourteen, maybe fifteen when I had my first crush on a girl.
     
  17. Purplefrog

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    When I was 18 at University when I had a rather erotic dream about one of my good female friends ( at the time I was conscious of feeling jealous of other close friends of hers).
     
  18. cameroni

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    Started questioning aged 11 when some girls at school came out as bisexual, finally realised after years of tossing ideas around to see which fit last year!
     
  19. EpicConfusion

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    At first around age 14-16 I had these fantasies about being penetrated by another guy while my girlfriend or wife watched, and I just assumed that was something I wouldn't ever act on, but the attraction did exist. I never thought about it or knew much about the LGBT community until recently. I don't remember really understanding what being gay was until I was maybe 15. At my job this summer I had a really huge crush on a gay guy I worked with, and that led me to accept myself as being gay. I came out to my parents and two friends as gay in September, but to be honest I'm still confused.
     
  20. Pie

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    I think I was around 12 or 13. At the time I thought everyone went through the same questioning so I didn't pay attention to it. When I was around 14 or 15, I thought I might actually be gay and, again, tried not to pay attention to it, but it was harder (no pun intended). And finally, last year, I accepted myself!