Born straight ... now I don't know ...

You might be bisexual.

 

I really think that you are bisexual. LIKE ME!

 

First, your sexuality doesn't change; some people just realize that their sexuality is different than what they once thought it to be. But you don't suddenly become straight, gay, lesbian, bi, etc... Also, there is a possibility that you are bisexual and didn't realize your attraction to women because of your attraction to men. Just something to think about. You'll figure this out with time. Best of luck.

 

Except that there's absolutely no evidence to suggest that everyone's sexuality does not change, and even studies that points to sexuality being static has numbers which does not even rule out transitional sexual orientation, and there are ways for one's sexual orientation to change without postulating choices like brain changing on it own. To this date, there's no evidence to suggest that sexual orientation is immune to changes to areas of the brain that makes up one's sexual orientation. That applies to gender as well, and scientists already know that brain changes can change an aspect of a person like personality, and sensory system.

As for the OP, if you can rule out confusion as a explanation to explain off sexual orientation changes, chances are your sexual orientation has changed.

 

I'm gonna jump on the bandwagon here and say you're more likely than not bisexual. I'm going to have to disagree with you when you say you were born "straight", because honestly I don't think anyone is born straight or gay - I think all straights have the capability to have a homosexual relationship and vice versa, whether they choose to act on it or not.

But I wouldn't fret over it. If you like guys, cool. If you like girls, cool. If you like both... well that makes more fish in the sea for you! It might also have something to do with conditioning - I liked girls (or so I thought) up until just after I hit puberty - then when I went to high school I started realizing that it wasn't me that liked girls, it was the people around me that wanted me to like them, and therefore I did. The way I feel about guys now has been so much more than what I'd ever "felt" for a member of the fairer sex... but your situation is probably completely different.

You just do you. You'll figure it out eventually, no need to stress out about it. Good luck! (*hug*)

 

If you feel like this because of the breakup then maybe it only has to do with that. Maybe it was a difficult breakup that made you (perhaps unconsciously) want to be with a woman instead because part of you may find that easier or the guy that you were with made you "tired" of guys. I'm just saying that you should take things like this into account before saying that you're attracted to women. You might be or it might just be a way for you to deal with the breakup. I obviously can't tell you what it right or wrong but if I were you I would think about these things as well.

 

If you've never experienced an attraction or feelings towards girls up until now, doesn't that throw you off? You didn't choose to like boys at a very young age, that's just who you were born as. You were born to be attracted to boys. If you're bisexual (and someone correct me if I'm wrong), you would have at least some indicator that you had feelings or a girl.

I can relate to you in that after your first break up, it opened the possibility to maybe it didn't work because I'm gay/bisexual. You are opened to the idea of it, and that alone has caused a lot of confusion to you (it did to me).

You cannot become gay anymore than you are straight, and vice versa.

However I am certainly not enforcing a label upon you, that is for you to decide. I do, however, see some similarity in your post to me, so that's my 2 cents, for what it's worth.

 

These examples of how sexuality can be complex and fluid might help you figure out what you might be feeling:
– I've always been attracted to some degree to people no matter what their gender, but sometimes I'm into more masculine traits, other times more feminine traits. Also, I had been hiding my attraction to women (even from myself) until I was about 17, because I was afraid of people's reactions.
– One of my aunt's friends considered himself gay for his whole life until he met a particular woman whom he fell in love with (however, this is very rare, and should NOT be used as an example to shame gay or lesbian people by claiming they 'haven't met the right girl/guy yet'). Effectively he is bi/pansexual, but had previously never met a woman he felt attraction for, so assumed he could only ever be attracted to men. Totally fair and his own business.
– Many people experience attraction to more than one gender, but still call themselves straight/gay/lesbian rather than bi/pan, either because they are much more attracted to one gender, or because they would not want to date people of a particular gender for reasons other than their sexuality (e.g. a pansexual man in a country where 'homosexual behaviour' is illegal saying he is straight; an abused bisexual woman who now fears men, and thus only dates other women; a bisexual man who feels more accepted by the queer community than the straight one, so identifies as gay). All these things are totally fine and normal.
– There are infinite possibilities for an individual's sexuality, and you don't have to fit a label perfectly to identify with it. It's also fine not to identify with any label.

However, since you also report personality changes unrelated to sexuality, it might be worth talking to some kind of mental health professional, just in case there's something else going on. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with questioning your identity (to the contrary, I think exploring identity can be really fruitful!), but it's always good to be on the safe side.

tl;dr: all people are different and complicated, your identity is valid no matter what (and so is questioning it & changing your mind), take care

 

Since you mentioned that you're seeing a mental health professional, if you trust them, I would highly recommend letting them help guide you through the untangling of the leftovers of what was an abusive relationship.

Unfortunately a history of abuse can certainly affect one's mindset in both noticeable and more subtle ways and if you truly want to get to the bottom of it, untangling and getting past the abuse is paramount lest you keep thinking back to this conflict of, "Why am I now suddenly gay when there was never any history of it before?"

I'm not saying it's impossible for you to be bisexual or even gay; I'm saying that I can see where your therapist is coming from - especially with you being so fresh out of a previously abusive relationship.

If your orientation has 'changed' or if you've discovered something suppressed within you, then that's that. That's not a bad thing and more power to you.

But if the sudden change is strange to you (and it really sounds like you're doubtful), then maybe you really ought to tackle the issue of a past abusive relationship before you immerse yourself into things.

I wish you the best.