Hi everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I'm 25 and struggling with my sexuality. I was living with my boyfriend but I broke it off and moved home not long ago. Sometimes I think im a lesbian because I cannot stop looking at other women. I just check them out all the time. I look at them on the Internet. I fantasies about sex with them. But I don't develop crushes on particular girls or imagine myself in a relationship with them? I always get crushes on guys and imagine myself in relationships with guys. I'm so confused. My first sexual experience was with a girl, we were only 15. I remember enjoying it and feeling safe. I also had a very big crush on a girl when I was 14 and I was convinced I was in live with her. We kissed a few times. Since then I've had relationships with guys and I've enjoyed the sex in the beginning but then I don't like it any. What does this mean? Any help or advice would be great
Hey there. First off, welcome to the forums! Unfortunately, no-one can really tell you what sexuality you are because it's such a broad spectrum, and you could be anywhere on that spectrum. Rather than just thinking in terms of "lesbian" and "straight", perhaps you lie somewhere in between. I'd maybe consider whether 'bisexuality' might suit you? From what you've described, you seem to have sexual attractions towards both men and women, which would fit that label. Despite not having a crush or romantic attraction with any women at the moment, you do sound quite fond of your teenage friend. So maybe it's possible! Whatever the case, in bisexuality, it's not essential that you have to like each gender equally - sometimes there is a strong romantic or sexual preference for one gender. Ultimately though, I don't think labels are that important, so I wouldn't stress too much over it. It sounds sentimental, but I believe in following your heart towards whatever, and whoever, makes you happy! That's the most important thing. Hope this helps!
Thank you for your reply. I guess I used to think of myself as bisexual but then when I got older and only dated guys I thought maybe being bisexual was just a teenage phase I went through. I was thinking of going on some dates with girls if I found anyone I liked to see how it goes. I'm a bit worried about that though. I have a friend that is lesbian and she's had her heart broken by girls she's gone out with who didn't know if they were really gay or not! So I don't want to be that girl who hurts someone because I'm not sure.
I understand, it is a bit of a minefield! I know you don't want to find yourself leading anyone on. My advice to you is take things at a very slow pace while you figure this out, there's no need to rush in to anything straight away.
If you worried about dating girls and hurting them, then be honest with them in the first place. Tell them exactly what you wrote in this forum. Your not sure, if they are willing to help you figure out.