I'm 21 and I have had mostly experiences with women. I have a girlfriend I've had a 4 year relationship with her. I like never really look at men. And I really don't find men's bodies attractive. But it is only rarely I have weird like fantasies. But it's never like just with a guy. I was sexually abused at 15 almost 16. By a couple so I don't know maybe that's it? Like I have had fantasies of like having a thresome with my girlfriend and a new friend of mine. But it's usually like the guy fits a certain description physique etc.... I had a dream about it about having a threesome with my girlfriend and the other guy and was really aroused when I woke up I fantasized about it and the thought keeps turning me on that its kind of getting awkward with my friend and all. Also basically similar to the guy I was with as a teen. The thing is I also like bonding more than Just friends. But it's not like I could marry a guy just is like I'm closer to guys than normal. Does it sound like I'm bisexual? I feel like I should stay closeted since I normally don't think about guys just with that fantasy.
I had a sexual experience with a boy before when I was 14 I kind of felt indifferent about it especially since I was under the influence. I didn't want to repeat the experience I wasn't attracted to him.
You don't have to decide right away if you're bi or not. It took me years to figure that out. Well after I got married to a women and started a family. Looking back, I had dreams about my guy best friend sometime and would freak out at my dreams. I dismissed it as dreams being weird. I also got worried about saying weird things to guys I knew were wttrwctive people. But after years, I learned I was bi. Is this what you're feeling? Worried about being bi or gay?
I'm not worried I have friends that are gay I'm open to it. There's nothing wrong with being gay. And actually I used to think I was bisexual when I was 15 during the situation with the couple I was involved with. But when I was 16. I had relationships with girls and felt mainly attracted to girls not really guys. With the couple I did prefer the guy I had thought I felt like I fell for him... I develop closer relationships with guys so it's not out of the norm. I'm more emotionally connected to guys than sexually. I have had dreams about my new friend quite a few times. But other than that I didn't dream about guys a lot. It wasn't until lately I have dreams about this particular guy. But it's awkward because i can't sometimes get the dream really out of my mind. I do worry about saying something that would seem really weird. I guess I wish I knew for sure because I thought I had this figured out a while only for it to pop up again.
I've before I was 15 identified as straight even when I was 14. It was just during that time period I identified as bisexual and now.
You might think about counseling, if you feel that would help with your past. You might have a look here: Am I Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender? There is romantic and sexual attraction... and some people need an emotional connection first... I'd say take your time...
I have gone to therapy for the abuse. It was actually found out later on and my parents had me go to counseling I've dealt with the issues and healed. I was just talking about my sexuality not the trauma. But it would be a good place to start. I don't normally need an emotional attraction to be sexually attracted to women. Just guys it seems it doesn't happy with all of my friends that I have an close relationship with only once in awhile.
Also I don't really have a sense of preference like with male or female parts when it comes to sex I've always thought I could be in a relationship with a transwomen just the same as any other woman.
