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Anyone had therapy with the NHS (confusion, drug andporn abuse)

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Confuseddude, Jan 20, 2015.

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  1. Confuseddude

    Confuseddude
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    Hi,

    I'm 23 and only very recently realised that I am almost without doubt a gay man. After 23 years of being 100% certain I was heterosexual (unbelievable in hind sight) i had something of an epiphany.

    In order for my brain to maintain the imaginary hetorosexual identity it had created I have been led down a path of substance and pornograhy abuse. I believe that in a way my brain fetishised my homosexual feelings and used a combination of drugs and hetorosexual porn to disguise my sexuality. The complexity of the human brain truely is amzing.

    I live in London and have loving forward thinking parents and (for the most part) friends. In many respects I am in a very fortunate position and am well equped to deal with my discovery. The problem is that after 23 years of being 100% certain I was straight, 3 monts of being 99% certain I'm gay isn't really enough to cut through the confusion. For the record, I actually believe there's a strong chance that Im bisexual but I am trying to stay away from that label for the time being for fear that it ma just a 'phase'. (Not the case for many bisexuals but it is for some.)

    Anyway, after a few months of trying to figure things out myself I have come to the realisation that I can't do it alone and I'm going to need some help here. My sexuality is currently very closely linked to drug and porn use and this is an issue which desperately needs to be addressed in order for me to progress. I beleve that I need to find a way to embrace and accept my homosexuality in a non sexual way - an idea which is completely alien to me at the moment.

    I've found somewhere which offers therapy which sounds perfectly suited to my needs but costs £60 an hour. A reasonable price but living in the UK I believe that I can access certain services for free on the NHS. The trouble is I feel that I will would benefit from very specialist advice which may be hard to come by on the NHS. Does anyone have any experience? Would the NHS be worth persuing?
     
    #1 Confuseddude, Jan 20, 2015
  2. seeking

    seeking
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    I'm not in the UK, so i can only speak from American healthcare stand.

    A lot of colleges/university (if you are still in it) both in america and the UK offer free mental health counseling for full time student (taking 4 or more courses.) They have therapist there that could probably help you in accepting your sexuality and where you sit on the spectrum of sexuality.

    There are many clinics and therapists that off free or sliding scale price based on income for their patients. I would check them out.

    LGBT centers offer free therapy too and support groups.

    I don't have experience with the NHS because i reside in america. But, a therapist really helped me during figuring out my sexuality because it gave me someone to say this all out loud to instead of bottling it up. Easier to work things out when you have a non-judgmental soundboard (unbias therapist.)

    So i really do recommend seeking a therapist to help you accept your sexuality, help you figure out your sexuality, and help you stop using substance and porn. The substance abuse is probably being used because you have anxiety about your sexuality. In therapy the psychologist can help you identify exactly what thoughts are causing the anxiety and how to overcome it without abusing drugs. Therapy helped me overcome a lot of the anxiety and led me toward a more accepting stage of my sexuality.
     
    #2 seeking, Jan 22, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2015
  3. LooseMoose

    LooseMoose
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    I am currently doing psychodynamic therapy with the NHS for anxiety/depression and they are very good.

    The thing to bear in mind that they have an approach to get the less serious cases of their agenda quickly and offer short term CBT in most cases, so you will have to do some convincing that you need some more serious help and that CBT will not cut the mustard for you.
    CBT is very helpful in many cases of anxiety/OCD/addiction ,etc but it will not address any deeper, underlying issues which arise from a messy sense of self, and generally building a false identity.

    With any other therapies there are usually waiting times, and it might take a long time, but it would be worth giving it a go: from what you have said the 'building up' of a false identity/sense of self is something which in my opinion might get you into long-term treatment, rather than the 'patching up' that CBT would do for addiction/anxiety etc. which are based on false patterns of thought, rather than a whole personality structure.

    My GP referred me to their local CBT psychologist, but I have convinced them that CBT was not right for my needs at that moment, so he referred me to a different centre.


    Overall the NHS offers good care and support, but you have to be prepared to wait, not let them fob you off, convince them that unless some long-term issues are addressed in depth you will not get better/ and your life/productivity will be affected by it. Don't take no for an answer: if you encounter it, go and ask somebody else.
    In my experience it is worth waiting/trying, because I would never have been able to afford the therapy that I need.

    -If you live in Camden/Islington you can refer yourself for psychological threatment through an NHS website called "icope": type this into google and it should take you there, I believe there should be similar websites available to people who live in other areas.
    Make sure to mention the impact your situation has on your everyday functioning.

    -Londonfriend offers weekly or biweekly free drop in sessions for LGBT people who suffer from drug addiction, and also other sessions. It might be worth checking out, although it is not NHS.
    They also offer therapy sessions for LGBT people, but they often have waiting lists. It would be worth getting in touch with them, they have support groups and offer you advice on to where to go from where you are. I think this would be the first place I'd go: they also offer phone support.

    -Check out PACE, It also is one of the local LGBT resources, I think it offers therapy sessions for LGBT people at a reduced rate, not sure, you will find on their website.

    All the best!
     
    #3 LooseMoose, Jan 23, 2015
  4. Martin

    Martin
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    I've worked at a substance misuse recovery organisation before, which was free and subsidised by funding from the local authority and NHS. It could be worth having a look around similar local organisations, as many of them have a whole range of free services for catering to the individual needs of service users. At the organisation I worked for, all key workers had training qualifications in counselling and motivational interviewing, but the triage assessment (completed during first point of access) could result in either a more qualified psychological expert taking their case, or for a referral to be put into an external counselling service within the area. It would all depend on what that individual felt they needed in terms of support, so it sounds like you'd possibly be a good fit for that given that you know what you want.

    LooseMoose has outlined the options you potentially have above for specialised NHS support, if you wish to pursue it. I would recommend pursuing that, and also looking into local substance misuse organisations and seeing what they have available too. It varies considerably from one to the next, but if you're fortunate enough to live near a service that has the funding for a comprehensive range of counselling provisions then it may get you access to one in a quicker frame of time, or will give you access to *something* whilst waiting, which is better than ruminating alone.

    If your heart, however, is set on the private therapy that you've found (and you have the means for that to be financed) then you should go for it. At the end of the day, you should go for the option that sounds the most beneficial to you.
     
    #4 Martin, Jan 23, 2015
  5. jay777

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    #5 jay777, Jan 23, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2015
  6. Confuseddude

    Confuseddude
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    Thank you for all of the detailed responses guys! Much appreciated.

    I think my first port of call will be LondonFriend, as suggested by Loosemoose
     
    #6 Confuseddude, Jan 29, 2015
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