Hi everyone! I'm a 22 year old guy, and for most of my life, I identified as straight. It wasn't something I thought about much, it was just something I was- I sought out straight porn first, and had several crushes on women who were people I really wanted to date. For the majority of my life, I never even thought twice about guys, I thought that I would never be interested in them, and thus I was comfortable with the straight label. However, about two years ago, or a year-and-a-half ago, I started experimenting with gay porn, and while I was aroused by it, I didn't think much of it. But then gay porn started to become part of my routine along with straight porn, and it wasn't until early 2014 that I realized something was wrong. Initially, I thought that perhaps it was what some call "porn escalation," that my brain got tired of one thing and sought out another. I thought that it was possibly a phase, something that was natural for me to go through since I WAS in college and all. I thought that it was perhaps my brain playing tricks on me since I know I've never had a crush on a guy. tl;dr- I'm not sure what caused the gay thoughts and I'm not sure if "being bisexual" is the reason, but the thing that's distressing me is that I don't find women as attractive as I used to, it's like that's faded somewhat. I've heard from one of my bisexual friends (a woman) that when she first found out she was bisexual, she went through what she called a "yuri phase," where her homosexual leanings spiked for about a year and then her interests stabilized. What I want to know is, is that phenomenon common? And do you think I could potentially be bisexual based off of the story I've relayed?
It's hard to say whether or not this is common, considering I don't really know enough bi people to build up an accurate picture, but as for whether or not you're bi, I don't think you are. (Based entirely on what you have written.) I have seen so many people on this site with the same problem. They start watching gay porn, they find it arousing, and they wonder if that is because they are actually attracted to men. In the majority of cases I have seen/heard about, this is not the case. Not all people who like gay porn are gay, in the same way that not all gay men like gay porn. You explicitly stated that you have never had a crush on a guy, but do you ever feel sexual or romantic attraction to men, or have thoughts about having a relationship with a guy? If you aren't attracted to men, you are probably not bisexual, even if you watch gay porn. This is just my opinion, of course, only you can say whether or not you are bisexual.
I've never felt sexual/romantic attraction to a guy I've met, in real life. I'm not vehemently opposed to it, but I don't remember it ever happening. And it's not like I've been totally sheltered or anything since I've been around a lot of guys and a lot of girls and yet my initial attractions were to women. When the gay porn use thing started to drive me crazy, I thought maybe if I'm aroused by gay porn, I MUST be bisexual or gay, and the fact that I've never been seriously attracted to an IRL guy is just chalked up to "it could happen/it hasn't happened yet." I hope that makes sense. I took the Kinsey Scale test a bunch of times, but I don't think it can be relied upon as it itself admits that it's not perfect and my answers would be influenced by the thoughts and fears gay porn use seems to have put in my head.
Reading this is like reading my life story. The "I thought maybe if I'm aroused by gay porn, I MUST be bisexual or gay, and the fact that I've never been seriously attracted to an IRL guy is just chalked up to "it could happen/it hasn't happened yet." Resonates with my situation so much. In the same boat really haah.
I'm glad to hear I'm not alone- I hope you can figure it out too, SoulSearcher. Does anyone else have any ideas or anything they can add? I confess to feeling a little desperate, I really want this uncertainty to go away.
I think I've felt this way a lot... I have juggled with the thought of thinking "I could be gay, I could be bisexual, or I'm straight." It might be a phase. It wasn't until I actually tried doing something with another guy that I found out my actual sexuality. If you haven't had any sexual experiences with men or women, I encouraged you to try at some point. Even kissing someone is somewhat of an indication. You don't have to be gay to be turned on to porn. You could be fantasizing about having a sexual experience with someone and not be attracted to the same sex. I think you might be psyching yourself out. Maybe you should try experimenting and then maybe you'll find out.
You could be bisexual; however, you could just be a straight man who is aroused by gay porn. I read about some study a while ago that saw how people reacted to porn and then they measured how they reacted to animals having sex. A lot of the results were similar. Now, this doesn't mean that humans want to sleep with animals. It just means that a lot of people are stimulated by sexual activity in some way, even if it doesn't align perfectly with what they actually do it the bedroom. Also, my best friend is 1000000% straight female and even she watches lesbian porn sometimes. Like I said, some people are just turned on by things they wouldn't necessarily want to try out. Sex, whether it be between humans or animals stimulates something in most people. So, I wouldn't be too worried. Go with the flow
