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I'm gay but yet I find myself having a slight crush on a girl

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by fluffy123, Jan 21, 2015.

  1. fluffy123

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    So for awhile now I have really been questioning a lot of things about my sexuality. I barely ever really crush on girls, if ever at all. I mean I have no desire for girls at all, if anything I both emotionally and physically find guys to be attractive not girls, and so this is why I identify as gay. However even with this all being said, there is this girl that I go to school with that I am friends with, and I feel like I might have a slight crush on her. I mean Nothing huge, but just a slight crush. Everything with this crush is driven by emotions though, there is no physical desire at all. So I mean has anyone else experienced this? I mean overall I am a very emotional person so maybe I just really care about her, I am not sure. Responses would be really appreciated!
     
  2. borgishmorg

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    I experienced this about a year ago. A girl I had known and been very close to when I was a child, came to my school and we became good friends. I wasn't physically attracted to her but I asked her out anyways. She said no and we're not very close now. I kind of wished I would have just tried to stay friends with her, but your situation may be different.
     
  3. cameroni

    cameroni Guest

    Hi!

    I completely get the confusion. There's a separation between romantic and sexual orientations, like you've picked up on in your post, and they don't have to be corresponding. Perhaps you may find girls romantically attractive whereas you find guys both romantically and physically attractive? Only you can say for sure. Remember that sexuality can be fluid, and you don't necessarily HAVE to conform to your 'label'.

    I've had this. When I thought I only liked girls, I found it incredibly confusing when I started to have a crush on another guy, but I just tried to not let it play on my mind. It did turn out to be a wish for us to be friends, but that's my experience and you're a completely different person.

    The only thing that might help is spending more time with her, if that's possible, and see if these feelings go away, stay or deepen. If it turns out you don't have feelings for this girl, you've learnt something about yourself and possibly made your friendship closer by spending more time together. If you do, that's cool too, of course :slight_smile:

    Good luck
     
  4. jay777

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    It might be you are mainly attracted to her by her personality, as a person.
     
  5. ANewDawn

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    Since there's the concept of being gay for one person it seems reasonable that someone could be straight for one person too. Also I've had crushes on guys before - but I still identify as a lesbian because I had no desire to sleep with them, only be around them.
     
  6. fluffy123

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    Actually that is what I think it is. Like I really like her personality! However even with all these emotions I don't know if I'd date her, I mean it would probably never work. I feel better just staying friends.

    ---------- Post added 21st Jan 2015 at 03:28 PM ----------

    Out of curiosity if you don't mind, did you ever date any of the guys or desire relationship? I personally don't with the girl I'm crushing on but I was just curious. Honestly I really only wanna be her friend despite these small feelings of emotions. Quite confusing. :bang:
     
  7. fluffy123

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    Thank you! I really love the response! And you know as I have kept on stating as down below (something I didn't mention up top) is that I personally don't see myself dating this girl, I mean this is what makes it all so much more confusing. Maybe I just really like her for her personality, who knows? I felt emotionally this way for a girl before when I at the time I said I was bisexual (turns out I really don't like girls sexually after all) well see the whole thing with this other girl, was that though i was attracted to her, I only desired to get to know her better and be friends. Sure later on I probably thought about dating her, but the truth is I don't think that dating any girl would be a food idea for either her or me. See because when that girl wants to kiss me I won't feel anything, I already know in my heart that I won't, and that would probably make the experience awkward for both of us. See you can say, why no date strictly platonically, but truth is I would prefer a strong platonic friendship over a relationship.

    I guess only time will tell, but honestly I think I'm just happy with friends; I don't wish to ruin the friendship. Just this whole experience threw me off. One thing to note for myself though, is that no one fits into labels perfectly. Honestly if I was straight and this situation were the other way around (me liking another boy) I'd probably still say I'm straight since I wouldn't feel emotions like that too often AND since there is no sexual attraction. So as long as I only care for this girl emotionally, I think it's safe to say I'm pretty gay.
     
    #7 fluffy123, Jan 22, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2015