Ok, so, apparently, I trust the internet too much. A couple days ago I found this post on tumblr (Swinging Both Directions) and it confirms my worst fears: I HAVE A CRUSH!!! So, that's not news actually, but I tend to shut down my own feelings and am always looking for some type of confirmation of what I'm feeling. There's a guy I know, he's kinda my friend, not very close though. I think about him more than I should. I want to touch him and hug him and be close to him. I want to share things with him. And I'm CONSTANTLY looking at his butt The thing is, although I really wish we could have something, I don't think I LOVE him. I think living with him for the rest of my life would be really difficult because of some divergencies... Also, I feel as if I wouldn't mind him cheating on me if we were together, which is terrible. :eusa_doh: I'm affraid that what I like is the attention. Maybe I'm realizing what love is and what a crush is and just want someone to hug me and love me and touch me, and maybe it's not neccessarily him. But then, why do I feel this way about HIM and not other people? I literally don't think I've ever felt this way before for someone...
This could be considered a crush in the general sense i think, or just you wanting him as a close friend! But it could just be you enjoying the attention, which isnt a bad thing. And the only reason why its HIM is because he is the closest available person around that you deem acceptable. But i dont know, its just my opinion.
That's a great post form tumblr, so thanks for posting that. If it is a crush, try hanging out with him more! In the end, only way to find out is if you hang out with him more and see where it goes. That's all you can hope for, really.
Hey. Don't beat yourself up over this!n There's nothing wrong with what you've described, IMO. First off, this is a guy you know, but aren't extremely close to. It's perfectly okay to not "LOVE" him, and just want "something." And you don't have to want to spend the rest of your life with every person you're attracted to, or even every person you date. My last two relationships I knew would not be long-term, but we had fun anyway. As for not minding being cheated on, is it just with him in particular, or something general at a point in your life where you're not looking for forever? It's certainly nothing "terrible," in either case. It doesn't make you an awful human being. Just like a "need for affection" isn't some horrible thing, either. And, finally... Your last two paragraphs are adorable and I think it's a genuine crush.
Okay, I'm literally in love with this website. Everybody's so understanding and you always offer great advice for people who can't really talk about these things with friends... I think that's exactly what it is. I always wanted to be a really close friend to him, but I also feel sexually attracted to him, which I think is weird... True... I should try to hang out more. But I'm not really a very sociable person... :eusa_doh: Hmm, this is a very interesting reply... Ok, this might sound stupid but: I'm an INFJ so, all my relationships are supposed to be forever. I've never dated or kissed anyone because it's really difficult to find someone I really liked and I'd never date anyone if I didn't think it could last. But, with him, it's just different. And yes, it's just with him. I don't have a particular interest in being "cheated on". :eusa_naug :icon_redf This is just plain weird to me. And totally new. I know I like him but I'm also not sure. What the hell.
Hey there :smilewave, I can see where you're coming from with this! It's confusing, right? I've got some of those symptoms from the tumblr post with a couple friends of mine- thoughts about hugging them, holding hands, thinking about them when they're not around etc. I think, if you're feeling that for your friends (and relatively more than any other people you know) then there's some sort of emotional attraction there at least. But you probably already knew that :lol:. But about the dating/cheating/forever issue with him... don't sweat it! You may be an INFJ, but that shouldn't mean you can *never* have a short-term relationship. For instance, I almost always get INTP on those tests, but while I get high introversion scores I still enjoy going out every so often and laughing about with friends. And sometimes about really dumb, non-intellectual banter (which as an INTP, shouldn't interest me much according to the description). What I'm getting at is, there are exceptions to almost every rule, and maybe you've found one. People are incredibly complex and hard to pin down ultimately, so perhaps this guy is just someone that's stirred something within you that you didn't think was part of you. In any case, there's nothing wrong with wanting only a short-term relationship (provided you don't pretend otherwise to the other person). For now, maybe just enjoy the feelings. You've accepted they're there, now maybe it's time to stop trying to theorise about them and just enjoy the fact that you have them for a little while. Overthinking things is tempting, it's a habit, and I and many others do it all the time, but it can get to a point where it becomes an obstacle rather than a bonus. If you think it'll help (as with anything on here, up to you), put your mind on cruise control and take the proverbial back seat with the massage machine and your favourite drink while you let things work themselves out. If the feelings are still there after a while or they're only getting stronger, you may want something long-term with him after all, or they may subside with time. I'm not saying don't ever think about it, but just try not to have such an emphasis on rationality to work it out, because this kind of thing doesn't really follow the rules there too smoothly :icon_wink. Good luck!
