1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Bi curious??

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Anonnnn, Jan 23, 2015.

  1. Anonnnn

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2014
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    OKaay.. Im an 18 year old guy and Im confused and depressed, when I was 11 I saw a gay couple and I asked myself "what if I'm gay"? BOOM!, ever since then I thought i had HOCD(Homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder), maybe it was because i looked very feminine i dont know. As far as i can remember I had crushes on girls, I liked this girl for 3 years but was scared to do anything about it. Anyways, I fantasized to girls for most of my time. But sometimes when I watch straight porn I put myself in the position of the women and it arouses me. I tried watching gay porn and was disgusted by it, but after a few times I managed to get aroused and orgasmed. So how would I know if I was gay? Could I be Bi? Is it a phase? Are gay people born gay? I need help...
     
  2. IG88

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2013
    Messages:
    399
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Forget the porn. In real life which gender can you see yourself with?
     
  3. Spartan 117

    Admin Team Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2014
    Messages:
    964
    Likes Received:
    539
    Location:
    Isle of Wight, UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey there! :slight_smile: Don't panic. Actually, nothing in what you said makes me immediately think that you're gay or bisexual. The only gender you've mentioned having romantic and sexual feelings for are women!

    1) As the poster above says, porn is not the best indication of your sexuality. Have you had any romantic/sexual feelings for men before? Can you picture yourself happily with a male partner? If the answer is no, then maybe you're not bisexual or gay after all. If the answer is yes, to some degree, and you still like women, then there's a possibility you might be bisexual or bi-curious. This is also okay!

    2) There's a huge spectrum of sexuality, and you could fall anywhere on that spectrum. It's hard for us to tell exactly what 'label' you fall under. As difficult as it is, this isn't something you should feel anxious about. You will be okay, whatever your sexuality. I really wouldn't jump to any conclusions. As I said before, nothing particular in what you said yet that makes me especially think you're bisexual.

    3) No, bi-sexuality and homosexuality is not a phase. However, sometimes it takes a while for people to figure their sexuality out. This can mean experimenting or being curious about other sexualities. There's nothing wrong with that, in fact, it's a good thing to be open minded and want to know more about yourself.

    4) Even though scientists are yet to nail down the exact cause of homosexuality, a common train of thought is that there is a biological/genetic link. So yes, it seems like people can't be "taught" or "influenced" to be gay, they just are that way naturally.

    I know that probably all seems a bit scary, but honestly you will be alright. If you can get past the fear, I think you'll find that you'll be able to gauge your feelings more clearly.
     
  4. Anonnnn

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2014
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    So how did you find out you were gay? did u know your entire life? sorry for all the questions xD, but yeah im kinda anxious about this.. How do you feel about women, and how do you feel about men?
     
  5. Spartan 117

    Admin Team Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2014
    Messages:
    964
    Likes Received:
    539
    Location:
    Isle of Wight, UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm sure the other guys and girls will have different answers, but I can answer from my own experience if it helps! :slight_smile:

    I guess I went through life up until my mid teens thinking I just hadn't met a girl who I 'liked' in that way. I never really thought I might be gay, I just knew I hadn't found a girl I was attracted to. I admired and liked hanging out with certain guys, and eventually I thought "hey, maybe I have a crush on them!" and then it all sort of fell into place. I could imagine being romantic with them, I could imagine having sex with them, and I sort of liked it! I couldn't imagine myself with a woman in the same way. I am friendly with girls, but I don't find them attractive in a romantic or sexual way at all.

    I try to keep open minded for the future - who knows, a girl could come along that'll blow my mind! But it hasn't happened yet and I'm not sure it will. So for that reason I'm happy identifying as "gay".

    So for me, the whole thing was quite simple (I'm lucky, I know) - I was just like "Guys - I'm attracted to them in every way! Girls - I think I'd be uncomfortable with anything more than friends."

    It's different for everyone though, so don't feel bad if it isn't as clear for you. Sexuality can be a confusing thing to understand!
     
  6. AKTodd

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2013
    Messages:
    3,190
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Norfolk, VA
    Well, to throw my two cents in here...

    I didn't find out I was gay so much as figure out I was gay. For my whole life growing up and to this day, women just don't really exist as sexual beings for me basically. Masturbation was just dealing with a physical need like eating or going to the bathroom and then moving on with life.

    I just figured that was how I was and didn't worry about it. Then I hit college and a guy hit on me in a locker room when I was 19. Took 2 wks for me to even figure out what he was doing. Then I took him up on it. But it was another year before I actively sought out and initiated something with a guy. Twice. After the second time I thought about my situation and decided I must be gay. And that was that.

    As far as my feelings toward men and women:

    Women = meh, couldn't care less, sexually speaking

    Men = Woof! Come on over here why don't you?

    Todd