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I don't know if I am still bi or not, I am so confused

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by phoenix89, Jan 23, 2015.

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  1. phoenix89

    phoenix89
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    I have been identifying as Bi for almost a year now, but I'm not so sure anymore. The other day I was enjoying some time with my friend, who is a transguy (for clarification), (not going into details, but you can read between the lines if you want, lol). Anyways, while we were having our fun, I realized that I was more attracted to female anatomy than I originally thought. I have been saying that I am bi for a while now, but I have not been or have been willing to admit my attraction to women/female anatomy.

    I felt horrible about doing that to him, but I had no idea that it was going to happen, I just panicked, curled up into a ball and started crying. I felt like I was completely lost and confused, I never expected to be so attracted to female anatomy and that fact that I was overwhelmed me.

    Has something like this happened to anyone else? Do you guys think that I am still bi/pan? Am I gay? I don’t know what I am anymore. Does anyone have any advice that you wish to please share with the lost me?
     
    #1 phoenix89, Jan 23, 2015
  2. Chiroptera

    Chiroptera
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    Do you still feel attracted to men? Perhaps you ate bi leaning more to women.

    Nothing wrong if you are gay though.
     
    #2 Chiroptera, Jan 23, 2015
  3. phoenix89

    phoenix89
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    I am still attracted to men, to a point. My attraction to men is mostly to transmen, and more feminine cismen.

    I am scared of being gay, scared of being a disappointment.
     
    #3 phoenix89, Jan 23, 2015
  4. ANewDawn

    ANewDawn
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    I'm the same way, only ever attracted to feminine guys. Bisexuality is a spectrum, and there's different kinds of attractions. You might be physically attracted to some men but only sexually to women like me. I prefer the term lesbian just so it's clear that I'm never having sex with a guy, but I'm probably actually on the bisexuality spectrum. You're free to identify yourself however you want.
     
    #4 ANewDawn, Jan 23, 2015
  5. crazycat

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    ANewDawn is right, bisexuality is a spectrum. You are still attracted to more than one gender, you just have a preference. There's nothing wrong with that, you can still totally consider yourself bi.
     
    #5 crazycat, Jan 23, 2015
  6. phoenix89

    phoenix89
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    That makes sense ANewDawn. I have currently have no idea about my attraction, besides that am I suddenly more attracted to women. This is so confusing.

    I can understand why you use the term lesbian, however, that makes me highly, highly uncomfortable.
     
    #6 phoenix89, Jan 23, 2015
  7. Sh1f73r

    Sh1f73r
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    Brah, I know how you feel, though I am "hybrid" I lean to guys a bit more most of the day, and sometimes girls. Just let it roll.
     
    #7 Sh1f73r, Jan 23, 2015
  8. phoenix89

    phoenix89
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    So this is normal?
     
    #8 phoenix89, Jan 23, 2015
  9. bicomplicated

    bicomplicated
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    There was a thread something like Does Bisexual Attraction Fluctuate. I'm pretty sure it was in this section. If it's still up, you should read it. A lot of bi's posted that their attractions have fluctuated either at least a bit or even a lot over time; sometimes more attracted to men and sometimes more attracted to women. So this can certainly happen. One rule for being bisexual; there are no set rules. Bisexuality is a spectrum and your attractions can change from time to time. Also, it's likely that you freaked when you realized your attraction to women. What happened? I guess your mind wondered and began thinking of women and bam... realization? But now you have a chance to explore this side of you if you want and be with women more. Just see how things go. :slight_smile: Oh and by the way, I am most likely to be attracted to more fem men myself. Fem men and fem women are who attract me the most. So there is that also, you can be bi and mostly or only be attracted to feminine people. Lastly, there is a possibility that you could be lesbian in denial. You will figure this out with time. But whether you are bi or lesbian, I hope you are happy and love yourself either way. I hope you find acceptance. Remeber, there is nothing wrong with any sexuality; and those who make you feel otherwise are who are in the wrong. My advice, just meet people, hang, get to know people, and just go with the flow. Give both men and women a chance right now and don't freak out but just be in the moment and then later reflect. When you reflect think about who you have enjoyed being with and why. Or you don't have to even date anyone to figure out your attraction. You could also just take "me" time and just really reflect on men vs women what turns you on about them. With a little time, you will figure this out. You can most certainly still be bisexual; but just take the time to think about your attractions. And don't stress. Don't even worry about labels for now if you don't want. It will be ok! :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 26th Jan 2015 at 12:05 PM ----------

    I hope this helped somewhat at least. :slight_smile:
     
    #9 bicomplicated, Jan 26, 2015
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