When I was about 12 years old, I came across this one picture of a celebrity, and she was with another girl in bed, and they were kissing and there were breasts. I remember that I really, really liked that picture. I also remember when I'd be home alone, I'd spend like an hour trying to find the picture again (remember when you used to have to click on the next "O" in google to get to the next page haha I'd be like 50 "O"s in :roflmao. When I was about 14 years old, I discovered videos of girls kissing online. They weren't porn but like the introduction to porn before any clothes were taken off. Eventually the curiosity lead to watching actual girl/girl porn which I've been watching ever since. I've never really been curious about men. I used to think I had a lot of crushes on guys back when I was in school but now thinking back they don't really seem like actual crushes like with romantic or sexual feelings. The first boy I ever dated when I was 16 really wanted to get sexual with me really quick into the relationship and I remembered that it made me uncomfortable because I didn't really want to do the things he wanted me to do. I did them anyway after he'd convince me too and it'd be just really weird. I didn't date for 4 years after that. I had the perfect opportunity to date this one guy that was in my dorm at college but I completely started to ignore him once I knew he was interested. I started dating again this year only because I was feeling bad about myself for having only ever kissed one person before and still being a virgin. I dated this one guy for about two months. I didn't really like kissing him and we didn't get very far sexually when he asked when we could go all the way and I guess that kind of freaked me out because I started to ignore him because I didn't want to do that with him. Anyway I guess I was just wondering if anyone had similar experiences? Did you thinking about the same sex when you were younger? Did you ever think about the opposite sex in the same way? Was it weird if you ever any kind of relations with the opposite sex? How is it with the same sex? I think that I might be a lesbian but I'm having a hard time having that thought actually come out of my mouth. I think I'm scared to admit it... I don't know... :icon_sad:
You definitely sound like a lesbian to me, and I can relate to many of the things you said, especially, "I used to think I had a lot of crushes on guys back when I was in school but now thinking back they don't really seem like actual crushes like with romantic or sexual feelings." To answer your paragraph of questions, I started having feelings for girls when I was about ten years old, and they got intense at about twelve. At first I thought that what I was experiencing was normal curiosity, but then my feelings for girls kept getting stronger until girls were on my mind 24/7. I was very fascinated by lesbians, often reading lesbian romance stories online and looking up pictures of girls kissing. In the beginning, my feelings for girls only seemed romantic, but then I developed sexual feelings for girls, and started to worry that I was gay. I tried to think about guys more but girls were so alluring to me that I couldn't resist them; they seemed so much more beautiful than boys. It was plain obvious that I was very much attracted to girls, but it took me a lot longer to realize that I was not interested in guys. Guys made good friends, but girls were hot, lol. I've never been in a relationship so I can't answer your last two questions.
when i was like five or six i used to be really into the spice girls (still am haha) jk..neway..i remember i used to fantasize about them batheing me and id masterbate to that thought while in the tub haha...i had guy crushes tho in elementary yet i always liked my sisters friends and always imagined doing stuff with them lol..never got to but sum were attracted to me back haha..i was too damn shy back then..then once i hit highskool i was extremly infactuated with girls..i dated a couple guys and had sex with them but i could only get off when i fantasized about girls..that and i didnt feel anything deep for these guys..they were just basically sumone to drink with and talk about girls to lol... so yea i finally realized that i was les lol..
Hello stylesgirl. It's only you who can accurately answer what your sexuality is but considering what you shared with us you really might be a lesbian. Accepting one is gay is a process and it's not going to happen overnight so it's quite understandable that you're confused and scared. Remember that whether you're straight, lesbian, bi, or whatever it is all fine and normal. Just take your time to explore and be the real you. (*hug*) P.S. To tell you to truth, it took me months to be able to say the lesbian word in English, and some more months to be able to talk about any LGBT topic in my mother tongue. It gets better with time. :icon_wink
I remember watching Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers when I was super young and getting very attached to Kimberly (Pink Ranger). Idk, it didn't seem weird to me at the time because she kicked a lot of butt and she was a girl. I guess at some point I was convinced I wanted to be her b/c I bought a pink power ranger costume for Halloween when I was in Kindergarten. But after she stopped being on the show I stopped watching too :lol: I noticed over the years that I would watch movies and if there was a certain actress I liked, I would scour through their filmography and watch something else of theirs. This never happened for me with actors. I was also convinced that I just had a certain admiration for them. I didn't really have sexual lesbian thoughts I guess until later, but when I was thirteen I had a sudden urge to be noticed by a very pretty girl next to me in class. I ended up realizing that I didn't just admire her, I had a crush on her. No boy ever made me feel that way.
i can relate to so much that you are saying. i also avoid all boys that show interest in me because i just dont like the idea of them liking me. it gets worse when they are persistent cause then even seeing them annoys me. my straight friends said they also felt the same so i assumed it was normal. im just so confused. my other friend is bisexual and when i meet her lesbian friends that show interest in me, i get butterfly feelings in my tummy.. i brushed off the feelings cause i thought that maybe i am just fascinated by a girl liking me. Anyone else feeling this way too?
This was so me when I was in high school. There were a few boys who had crushes on me and I would stop them before they even tried to ask me out by using the good ol "my parents say I can't date" excuse.
Sounds like you might be a lesbian. I had similar experiences with sexuality when I was around that age, looking for pictures and videos of girls making out and such, but I was also interested in guys too. You sound like you don't have any sexual attraction towards guys, and IDK if from what you told me if you've ever been romantically attracted to guys.
