Finally I understand myself!

Finally in my 30s, I think I understand why I've always been scared of sex..!!

I always knew my taste in men was a bit different from most girls, even when I was in total denial about being bisexual... other girls in my teens or early 20s seemed to like different guys from me, and lots more of them!!!

When I realised that my strongest attraction was towards men who were gay or bisexual, I was even more scared - because I couldn't fully accept that part of myself. If I liked men who were less macho, perhaps a bit more feminine, then did that mean I was really longing for a woman...??!

So I still didn't want to pursue the feelings I had for a lovely bi guy I met at uni, despite us having a strong close friendship.

Finally, after many twists and turns along the road, aged 30 I acknowledged my bi side!!! And finally, after meeting a number of bisexual girls with whom I have shared a mutual attraction, I am now crushing on a wonderful bi guy who also really likes me - and I finally feel ready for him!!!!! Ready to embrace my full attraction, the masculine AND the feminine, the het and the gay side! :eusa_danc

I think I had to accept my whole sexuality before I could embrace just part of it, and now I have

 

Thanks, everyone, well it has taken me long enough!! I suppose being on my own all these years without a partner has given me enough time to process it

 

I wouldn't say it was a total comfort level - I mean, I am still shy of the idea of having sex or kissing a girl, even when I really like her. I have kissed 2 girls but that's all..

But at least the idea of being with a guy feels more comfortable, as I can now appreciate why I like guys who are also bisexual. The guys I made out with when I was younger were usually not that attractive to me, so of course I felt nervous and uncomfortable, as I didn't really fancy them!

I am sure you will get there too xx