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How Do I Make HOCD Thoughts Go Away??

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by BookWriter1994, Jan 27, 2015.

  1. BookWriter1994

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    So, I think I might have this HOCD, basically I am afraid that I might be a lesbian and I am getting obsessed about it. Like it won't leave my mind and to be honest I know that I am straight but I can't get rid of it. Like how do I get rid of HOCD thoughts when I know that I am definitely straight? It's freaking me out that this thought that Am I A Lesbian won't go away. How do I make it go away for good so that I can finally get my life back? Any thoughts?
     
  2. popcorn

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    Hi there,

    I'm a little confused about your post. You say as your tag line "I swing both ways" yet you believe that you are straight?

    Anyway, from what I've read on here imagine yourself with the women you meet on a daily basis. How does it make you feel? Do you want to sleep with them? Live with them? Etc
     
  3. Jax12

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    In order to resolve HOCD thoughts, the first thing to do is to accept the thoughts. Fortunately, there is treatment for it, and what my psychologist recommended was to just take a couple deep breaths, and focus on the breathing (the air going in and out of your body).

    What you need to understand about HOCD is that it doesn't matter what answer you get. Avoiding the thought does not block out the thought. In fact, it'll make you think about it even more.

    You also need to find things about yourself that you know are true. Look back to your past attractions. Have you ever had feelings for girls? I'm not talking about looking at them in a sexual manner, I'm talking about dating/relationship/partner. Do you find yourself have feelings with guys or girl? Even if you find the answers you are looking for, once your brain goes into HOCD mode, everything you thought was true will turn to lies and doubts; it's an endless cycle.

    On a personal note, I always have the fear that I'll end up with a guy because of my sexual thoughts, specifically with older men. Heavy influence of porn has contributed to this. However, I never had a crush on a guy, and I only started questioning myself just a couple months ago, after my first relationship with a girl ended. In the end, it won't matter what answer I get, I must live with uncertainty, and the possibility that I may end up with a guy. I have to live with that. It's not easy living with OCD in general, but there are ways to make it easier.

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with being LGBT+, and once you understand that, your HOCD thought will simmer down, and then you might even come closer to the LGBT+ community, as I have. I'll admit that I use to be very uncomfortable around LGBT+ individuals, but these past couple of months have taught me that there is nothing wrong with being different. In the end, Ellen Degeneres or Tim Cook are just people like us who just so happen to fall in love with their gender.

    It is also wise to discuss with a therapist or counselor who specializes in this field. You can only get so much information out of a forum.
     
    #3 Jax12, Jan 27, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2015
  4. Blues

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    JaX is right. You need to accept the thoughts. If you can take away the fear about your sexuality then the truth will reveal itself pretty quickly. Remember these are just thoughts and you can leave them pass. It's working for me anyway. It is also important to not allow yourself to perform compulsions like ruminating.

    Good luck. It's scary accepting your most feared thoughts.
     
  5. Kingjules

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    your status is back in the closet? So im not sure if you Straight or not? Before this 'hocd started' who did you find attractive, emotionally and sexually? If the opposite sex then maybe you have an ocd issue, if you fancied the same sex or no sex at all, this could be an issue of denial. The stand out thing you said was that you know you're straight and that you know have you have 'hocd'. Ocd sufferers litterly have no idea in the fact that they have been diagnosed but still don't believe. For example when i was diagnosed with ocd i still believed that i didnt have ocd and that i was just gay and in denial.