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not straight but how can I be sure?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by chair4ever, Jan 27, 2015.

  1. chair4ever

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2015
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    Location:
    Seattle
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I'm a 15 year old girl and have been questioning my sexuality for awhile now. I have been finding that the biggest reason I'm having trouble figuring out if I'm gay or not is that I can't trust my own feelings. I am obsessed with reading books featuring lesbians. I'm a writer and all of my main characters are gay girls. I find myself wishing I was these girls. I imagine myself kissing a girl, but I still can't call myself gay. I think its because I want to be entirely sure, to have proof, before I say that I'm gay or something but I'm not sure if or how I can do that. I recognize that some boys look attractive, but can't see myself dating any, and I don't know if it's because I don't know any boys I want to date, or if it's because I don't want to date boys in general. I keep switching between telling myself I'm gay, straight, and bi, but then change my mind or tell myself I can't know for sure. I'm worried that I'd come out or something and then realize that I'm not what I said I was.
    How can I stop this from happening and just try to understand who I truly am?
    And also, for the record, its not being gay that would be any sort of problem. I just can't figure out what I am.
     
  2. bazinga91

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2013
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    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    This was me a few years ago. I thought guys were attractive and I still do! I will be with my girlfriend and say oh wow he is hot but i personally know i dont want to be in a relationship with a guy. When I was younger i tried to convince myself that its because I couldnt find the right guy but I always thought about other girls, and had day dreams about being with a girl. The hardest part for me was accepting a label and that sounds like what is bothering you as well. Originally and up until recently I didnt label myself and you shouldnt have to if you dont want to. Love who you want to love and just be happy! Dont set boundaries and be open to new experiences. You are young and have plenty of time to figure things out. If you are questioning there is probably an attraction you should investigate when the time is right for you. Dont rush or feel the need to label yourself. There will be an opportunity and go for it, see what happens.
     
  3. Sh1f73r

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Texas
    Gender:
    Male
    I exactly know how you feel.Me looking at girls I get that "good feel" in my heart, but at guys, I get aroused.
    This is how I found out, its a bit awkward but totally worth it. Go on google images and search hot guys, see how you are "aroused" and then search hot girls, and see you reaction. Don't force your feelings, just let it roll, there is no shame in being gay straight or bisexual.
    If your Christian, seek out God, the truth is that God does not hate gays, people just misinterpret the bible(we all are human we all make mistakes), check out "Fish out of Water"