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Really confused!!!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by fluffy123, Jan 28, 2015.

  1. fluffy123

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    So for awhile now I have been saying I am gay. I really don't find girls to be sexually attractive, however when it comes to guys that is a completely different story. Men do turn me on, and I do desire relationships with men! So you may ask "Well if you know this all, already then why are you so confused?" Well maybe I should not get so caught up over this, but I wanted to do a little confirming of my sexuality so I looked up some solo porn of girls doing whatever to see if it did anything for me, and to my amazement I don't know what it was but when the girl was playing with herself it actually did turn me on. Like I wasn't sexually attracted to her or anything, didn't have the desire to fuck her, but whatever it was just turned me on. Maybe I wanted to feel what she felt? Sort of be in her position possibly if you get what I mean? Weird I know, but that is the only possible thing I could think of. Anyway, am I alone or are there other gay people who find themselves in similar situations? I would love to know! Thank you!!!
     
  2. m e l v i n

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    that's normal :slight_smile: there are a lot of similar stories here and posters will tell you, porn does not necessarily reflect your sexuality :slight_smile: and you're right.. maybe it's just that you relate with their pleasure that's why you're turned on.. but anyway, you're still young, you have a lot of time to figure out what you really want :slight_smile:
     
  3. EpicConfusion

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    I'm gay, but I do get turned on by girls in porn. I, like you, have no desire to have sex with women, but somehow they are sexually arousing to me.
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    Confusing as it may be, it's actually not unusual. Contrary to what you may have heard, sexuality does not fit into neat little boxes, where all straight people are 100% for the opposite sex and all gay people are 100% for the same sex. It's much more nuanced. Most important of all, its about how you feel and how you choose to identify.

    Sexual response does not always correspond to our deepest attractions. If your body is stimulated in a certain way (be it physical, visual or even auditory stimulation) you may experience some involuntary or unexpected stirring. It's not something you can control and it may be very frustrating to you, but it's best to accept it.

    I identify as gay and I'm totally comfortable with that thought. As such, I don't view straight porn or female solo's, but who knows, I too may experience something if I did chance to view it? Were it to happen, I'm sure I wouldn't appreciate it one little bit, but I can say with certainty that it wouldn't change my self perception of being gay. I wouldn't suddenly relabel myself as bi due to an involuntary response, because my heart and mind will always be for guys, and for me, that's all that counts.
     
    #4 PatrickUK, Jan 29, 2015
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2015
  5. Jax12

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    There's a lot of posts like this that revolve around porn. Porn was not mean to match up with your tastes in reality. Porn and reality are like two different worlds.

    It might be fun watching it, but it's completely different when you're participating in it.
     
  6. fluffy123

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    Hey sorry guys for not being active on this thread! I really appreciate a lot of your responses though and I do agree with a lot of what you had to say. It is nice to hear that other gay guys like myself have felt the same things I do. This has not been as much of a problem for me lately, and by now I think I have came to the conclusion to where I can comfortably say I am a gay male, and hey I am proud of it too! Thanks again for all the help!