The flexibility of bisexuality over time?

I have had two really long relationships with both men and women. I am 100% bisexual. Remember that sexuality is a spectrum. 99% of people fall somewhere between gay and straight. Think of sexuality as a journey not as a destination. Labels suck! You may be gay today and bi tomorrow. Your body and mind change with age. So don't restrict yourself to any label. That's the freedom of being bi or pan. Welcome to freedom brother!

 

I'm qualified to answer the question, but I'm not sure what sort of things you want to know.

I thought I was a lesbian in my twenties, and had three serious relationships (as well as some dating). When I got involved in BDSM and didn't find many women to date, I ended up getting to know men and eventually got involved with a few of them. I've been with one for 15 years, but uncomfortable giving up most of my ties to the LGBT "community".

I don't like being around straight people most of the time, and being treated as one. That's the struggle for me -- being queer and living a "straight" life. We moved to a somewhat rural and conservative area and going to nearby LGBT events would be awkward now, especially since my partner isn't very interested. (He went to a gay bar with me once, and would go again, but it's not the same.) He's fine with our few gay and bi friends, and I sometimes have sex with some women friends -- not because I have some sort of need, but because they're at the parties and we enjoy it. The kinky crowd tends to be more open-minded.

It's not about the sex for me - I really don't care which gender I'm with, although I do strongly prefer female bodies aesthetically. I actually get along better with men in most ways. So, the problem is that I formed a queer identity early on and now can't do much with it as a result of choices I made. My life is okay, and I've found queer things to do online (like this site and its big brother, plus my writing).

If my relationship ends, I will probably try dating women first. For me, I don't think dating both men and women would be very practical because it involves going to different sorts of places. I suspect I'm mostly attracted more to same-sexness. If I was with a woman and still had the same amount of non-LGBT people in my life, it wouldn't be much of an improvement.

 

Ok I have mor time now. I guess in my early life I would have been considered homosexual. Once testosterone flooded my veins I became attracted to girls as well. But because I had already had sex with other males I couldn't. Be just exclusively straight after that. I enjoy making love to both women and men. I also believe that being just a bottom or a top is a fallicy. With my main male partner we just did what felt good and sometimes I was bottom other times I was top. Likewise wiith my wife, I enjoy being both a top and bottom. Just enjoy the freedom of being able to fall in love with and be with who ever you like. After I was married I would have been considered straight, that's only b/c I was in denial about loving men. Now in my thirties, I have accepted that I am just very sexual. I take the bisexual label because it helps other people understand me. If your confused about labels simply just don't take one. It may change anyway. I am excited for you because a whole new world of possibilities has just oped up to you. Bisexuals are sexual Tyranosaurus's. We are hated on a lot by people at both ends of the spectrum because neither one of them understand us. This is where you will have to learn to be careful. People, even people who are discriminated against, hate what they cannot understand. Where you fall in the spectrum of sexuality may be different than where I fall in that spectrum, we are both still bisexual though. All labels are a fallicy that were invented by people who see things in binaries. Just be yourself and be comfortable in your skin. Love yourself and leave the rest up to chemistry. You might even fall in love with a woman.Good luck. I will be here for the foreseeable future if you need to talk. I've been there.