Figuring out my sexuality but girl I really like - can't perform with a women?

Hi,

I'm a 23 year old virgin and I've spent the last 5 years + addicted to heterosexual internet porn. I've actualy had the opportunity to lose my virginity on 7 occasions. The first time, age 17 and incredibly drunk, I found myself in bed wit a beautiful girl wom I believed i was very much attracted to. Nothing worked down there. Nothing at all.

I've been in the same position no less than 7 time. Each time it has been an incredibly drunken one night stand but each time it has been a complete and total failure.

Being a young and healthy 23 year old I naturally began to question my erectile dysfunction and 2.5 years ago I discovered pornography addiction. It provided my brain with the answers it craved and I believe that my focus on porn addiction may be responsible for a 2.5 year delay in me questioning my sexuality.

For those not familiar with pornography addiction one of the main features of a porn addict is sexual desensitization, which can lead to problems functioning in real life (think hours of daily porn use spread over a period of multiple years and with the complete absence of real life sexual encounters). To confuse matters there are also theories that porn can lead the addict to constantly seek different types of porn in order to maintain the buzz which years ago was provided by watching vanilla sex. This can lead to all sorts of crazy fetish porn categories or in some cases gay porn - this poses the classic chicken or the egg question and adds to the confusion of someone questioning their sexuality.

When you factor in porn addiction, extreme drunkness and the anxiety of having previously had multiple failed attempts my brain found it easy to explain my sexual problems for a while. And addicted to porn I didn't understand what all my mates were talking about when they raved about sex. I was indifferent to it.

6 months ago I had a 'gay epiphany' and decided I was gay. Since then I've ranged from thinking im homosexual, to thinking I'm heterosexual, to thinking I'm anything in between. I still have massive porn addiction issues however I'm calm about my sexuality. What will be will be. I've no choice but to be patient. Now that I've questioned my sexuality I'm able to work things out but it's a long process. I'd love the time to work things out properly but there's a girl I know. She's beautiful, perfect for me and I know for a fact that she likes me. If I want to make a move I can. But this isn't one of my drunken one night stands. Thisis a girlI know and genuinley like. What if it doesn't work? What If I'm gay and this is my brains last attempt at holding onto heterosuality?

Any words of wisdom welcomed lol

 

You've very right about the counciling SweetFemme. It's something I'm thinking about a lot.

In reply to your question David, no I never fantasised about them but they were all one night stands that I met on the night. I would often become erect whilst flirting and fooling around in a nightclub for example but the second it came to actualy having sex I would be completely lifeless.

If I masturbaate with porn or my imagination then I can do so with the thought of pretty much anything. Straight, gay, bisexual, transexual, vanilla stuff, extreme stuff - it doesn't matter. There's no way I can maintain the excessive msturbation binges without mixing it up but lets say I've had 24hrs 'rest', then I feel anything is satisfying and fulfilling.

But lets say I've just finished masturbating and I decide I want to do it again, I may find that my desire for anything heterosexual or vanilla is very limited (baring in mind I've ejaculated 20 minutes ago) however homosexual or 'extreme' and I could settle down for another session.