I am 18, And usually it would start randomly i would see a hot woman or see something sexually arousing and i will have a craving to think about guys, its not always but it started to be more frequent now. and all of the sudden i would find women completely uninteresting i would start to think about hot strong men fantasying that i am having sex with them i would start to crave it and really want it, i would search for gay stuff on the internet and in that moment i am almost completely gay, but as i am going to orgasm i stop and then i turn straight and think guys are 0% arousing.. so i switch to women i orgsam thinking of straight stuff. and then i say to myself why am i doing this? i can get of to women i dont need to think of guys.. This is going on for 5 years already and i dont know whats going on... when i am going on with my daily life i would look at girls and think they are hot, i would never look at a guy and think of him like i do to girls, its really weird... also when i am horny and think about guys,i keep telling myself to accept that i like guys more sexually that i would never be satisfied with women in bed like with men... its like i am different person with different desires. Is it cause i never had a father? i was always been a mom's boy... and this is why i seek a guy? i don't understand this..am i in denial? am i gay? help? also i never had sex.
Have you ever had a crush on a guy? Like actual feelings and not just sexual attraction? It's possible you're sexually attracted to both genders, but because you're only discovering your attraction to men it seems amplified. I read in a book once that boys go through a phase where they want other men to check them out, and they check other men out, and it has a lot to do with their relationship with their father because they start realizing their sexuality and other people's sexuality. However that sounds pretty messed up to me, it was a very old book with outdated ideas such as homosexuality arising from daddy issues etc, and I wouldn't take heed of it. If it's just sexual, then there's a possibility that you want male intimacy you never had, but it depends on how much you like guys. I'm saying possibility here because you could just be bisexual or gay, you just have to go with the flow and see how it turns out.
I found this 3 year old post when I googled the same question. However, I'm 45 yo and what would some call a ladies-man. I enjoy their company on many levels but I often fantasise about having gay sex. these fantasies end the second I ejaculate with a considerable amount of disgust towards it. I vaguely remember older guys having sex with me at an early age but can't recollect details of any of these encounters. I have had the chance to have gay sex several times but didn't go with it, don't know why. Maybe it's the fear of pain, or getting addicted to it and turning full blown gay, I don't know really. Maybe if I wasn't living in a middle eastern society I'd have had the courage to explore the whole premise of it openly. Sometimes, in my fantasies, I have sex with a couple. This is usually most arousing. Not sure if I'm a pervert who needs professional help or..what!
Its quite similar to my case. But i had a lot of M2M-Sex-experiences. Only women catch my eyes and i never had a crush on a guy. But sometimes hot girls turn me so on, that i imagine myslf being them and having Sex with a guy. It happend a few times that i went to a gay-bathroom after having seen a sexy woman. And i do enjoy the M2M-Sex a lot. But in the normal life i don't have any thoughs about Gaysex. Only by watching stuff like porn or reading a hot story or - as previously said - after having seen a hot girl in the streets. Yeah it's a bit strange...
There are a number of issues that have been touched on in this thread and they really should be explored in more detail, if you relate to anything that has been posted. We know that porn watching habits tell us little about our sexual orientation. Porn indulges our curiosity, but it tells us very little about our deeper feelings. On the other hand fantasies that come to mind when we are horny or masturbating do offer a clearer indication of our feelings because they arise without all of the visual kicks and external stimuli. Of course, it can unsettle us to have these fantasies if we have built a very different life for ourselves, based around relationships with the opposite sex, but no good will come of ignoring or repressing these feelings. Putting a lid on everything or denying reality will not make it disappear and will only exacerbate feelings of depression and shame. If we live in a society or community that looks down on, or is deeply hostile to gay relationships it can promote a lot of inner negativity, but it's important to understand that homosexuality still exists in these societies and communities... and it always has, even if it goes on under the radar with no obvious commitment between the participants. We cannot disinvent homosexuality to conform to religious or moral standards when it's existed since the dawn of time amongst humans and animals and is part of our genetic makeup anyway. Men have always had sex with other man and women have always had sex with other women. These facts alone don't mean anything will change soon in some parts of the world, but it can help us to inwardly accept our feelings even if we have to be more careful outwardly. Sexual abuse can affect us in a number of ways, but it does not affect our sexual orientation. A lot of research has been carried out to examine the possibility of a link and none has been found. The only people who believe there is a link are religious fundamentalists who are hostile to all LGBT people and have zero interest in evidence based research. The keys issues to address are connected to shame and as a consequence of that, denial, repression, anger, self rejection and bargaining of our feelings.
I would say the most likely scenario is that society has conditioned you to believe that being gay is wrong and wired your mind to believe you are straight and this works until you are really horny and the gay desire is so strong it overpowers your subconcious which is trying to hold the thoughts in. However once you've done the deed you feel bad about it because the subconcious is back in control and wants to try and prevent you from doing it again.
