I don't know what's wrong with me

I don't know. I think it's just going to take time to work out how you really feel. Maybe think about what you find attractive now and see if that changes or stays the same as time goes on.

 

oh my word, i feel your feels..lol i am going through te same thing too. when i find a girl attractive i find myself making excuses like, 'you just wanna like girls thats why u think she is cute'.. it makes me feel bad. often i feel like i making all of this up and it makes me feel so pathetic. Some days i am so sure i like girls and other days im like, 'do you!? do you really like girls?'

 

Sometimes I think I have issues, then other times I think I'm making them up and that it's all in my head. That's the best way I can explain it.

I remember when I was a teenager, I had a really bad death phobia issue and a few other obsessive-compulsive tendencies. I had pretty much I self diagnosed myself with OCD but I had no idea if I really have it. I never sought help for it. I'll think there's something wrong with me but then I'll think "well maybe I'm just faking it, maybe I just want there to be something wrong with me".

Sometimes I think this about my sexuality. I'll think "wow I really like guys" and then another part of me is thinking "yeah right, you're just looking for attention, your thoughts aren't real".

So I'm really confused. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe I have trust issues with myself. I don't know.

nearly the same as me XD

 

Hm, I've had similar feelings. I've drifted between various self-diagnoses when I was younger, I knew there was something wrong with me, but I think I also exaggerated some of my issues in my own mind or just had a very poor self image and at times thought I had very severe mental illnesses. It turns out I do have mental illness but it's more "tame" stuff, anxiety and depression, which have been diagnosed by a professional. I did have symptoms, but I was *in* them and couldn't really see them clearly enough to determine what it was that was troubling me.

My advice regarding your suspected OCD is that if you really do think you have it, or that there is something amiss, you should seek a therapist who can either confirm this diagnosis, or tell you what it is that's actually going on with you. Then, you won't be wondering anymore, and the therapist can also help you build a treatment plan and coping skills to deal with whatever it is that is troubling you.

As for your sexuality, I have also had similar doubts about myself, because I think "is this just the latest thing for me to worry about?" "Is this like when I thought I had X or Y?" This still troubles me sometimes, but I know that if I look at my life I see that this is not something I'm just making up and there is a history that suggests I am probably gay. I've spoken about it with others, discussed it in therapy, and no one is telling me otherwise, either.

I think you probably need to take some time to examine your feelings more deeply. Are you attracted to men? Are you attracted to women? Have you had crushes? If so, who were they on? Do you have fantasies, and if so, with what gender? I also think discussing this along with your OCD concerns with a qualified professional could be very helpful.

 

I've felt just like that before, like I'm being selfish or something. I don't have any real advice though and I'm not in a healthy mental state right now. I guess I'd just try to find comfort in the fact that you're not alone in your feelings?

 

I remember the first time I told my therapist I thought I was gay I was worried that I could just be trying to sabotage my relationship with my family because I was angry with them and I knew they would freak. I tried to forget about it for a few months but then I would see a beautiful girl I was attracted to and know that my family was the furthest thing from my mind at that point. And I thought back to all the times I had been into girls before I even knew what being gay was or meant. If you genuinely are gay, it's not gonna change depending on your mood or anything else in your life.