To give some history and potential insight: I have considered myself bi for about 4 years now but have yet to have a successful and satisfying romantic relationship with a male. I have only made out with girls before, but I have had sex with one male partner. When I am with a male, I do enjoy kissing and making out for the most point, but nothing further really. I get anxious about going further than that and I've never gotten off with anyone, only by masturbation. Maybe it's because I've never had a serious/ long relationship though. Recently I've been checking out ladies more than males and it takes a lot more for a male to get my attention. I also I realized I have a massive crush on this girl I work with. I've never felt this way about a girl before. Unless I'm imagining it, we flirt every time we work together and she has implied that she has a fluid sexuality (possibly bi, but I haven't clarified so I won't label). Anyway, I can't get her off of my mind and I have sexual dreams about her. Since coming to this realization, it's like I have blinders on. Guys just don't seem to do it for me at all. Instead, I find myself really paying attention to more androgynous looking women. I guess that's my type? So now I have been really reflecting and considering my sexuality. Am I still bi and just currently preferring females because I'm attracted to one at the moment? Or has she just provided an opportunity for me to realize that I'm actually a lesbian? I haven't found any good resources on questioning one's self like this, so anything (resources/ advice/ anecdotes) would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks <3
Hey Girlie! I have so gone though this so many times! Okay, so label thing does not matter. You might like only girls for 20 years, but then like guys randomly and whatever. I wouldn't pay as much attention of "what you think you are" more than "who makes you feel a certain way." So, right now you're thinking about that one girl at work - which by the way, a lot of people like someone they see a lot and especially like their bosses or someone who works under them (it's like this authority psychological effect thingy ma-jig). Why feelings happen isn't as important as what makes you feel. So, instead of focusing on why something makes you anxious or why you don't feel something from someone, just focus on what you like when you're with a particular person that makes you feel. And yeah, girl crushes are intense, so maybe just have more gay-related topics to see if she likes girls? And like I said, the label doesn't really matter. Lesbian or bi, you know you like this girl, so try to see how you can pursue that. Yeah? Here is a website to know if she's into you: 7 Subtle Ways to Let Girls Know You Like Girls | Her Campus Hope all goes well Let me know your updates! <3 <3 <3
