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Based on these facts about myself, would you consider me gay or straight?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by SubZero, Feb 3, 2015.

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  1. SubZero

    SubZero
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I know that only I will know for sure what sexual orientation I am, but based on what I'm about to type, could someone please give me some insight? I'm also going to be as truthful as possible when I'm typing. I'll split this in 2 categories (what I find arousing on the internet and in real life):

    To start, I'm a 21 year old male. I've never dated anyone in the past and am still a virgin for that matter. I'm kind of reserved and shy and didn't think it was even necessary for me to date anyone. I'm starting to question my sexuality, though, because I don't get "turned on" by most of the stuff any other typical straight guy does. I actually explored some gay porn, pics, and gifs to test if I was gay. I just went with the flow and not fight any urges and just see what naturally turns me on. This is what I conclude:

    Internet
    - Gay porn generally doesn't turn me on.
    - Seeing pictures of naked guys doesn't do anything for me.
    - Anal sex, oral sex and anything that shows a guys penis is actually a turn off.
    - HOWEVER, male bondage turns me on instantly. I dunno why but I get aroused when a guy is tied up/gagged. I'll get slightly turned on if a girl ties another girl, but I get even more turned on when a guy ties another guy. It's just a "kinky" fetish I have. If I were truly straight, wouldn't I get turned on if the girl is tied up/gagged? The fact that I get turned on when the guy is tied up and not so much the girl makes me question my sexuality. I've tried watching straight bondage, but it's not that enjoyable to watch. It kinda gives a sense of "rape" which I don't find enjoyable. It seems more friendly/playful when it's a girl tying another girl or (preferably) a guy tying another guy.

    - I've also watched a couple lesbian clips and, for the most part, they don't turn me on. This also creates a lot of red flags because usually a straight guy would love watching lesbian porn. I wasn't disgusted by lesbian porn/pics, but it simply didn't turn me on.

    In Real Life:
    I will admit that I do admire another guys looks. I generally find them to be physically attractive based solely based on their faces. I don't think of them below the neck though. I never check them out or think anything sexual about them. I don't find females unattractive either, but I tend to get turned off by a lot of their makeup. In my experience (and I'm not saying every girl is like this), a lot of the girls that went to my high school/are in college give off the "slutish look" which turns me off. It's like I'd prefer a woman with little to no make up on. I find the women's body more attractive than the man's body, but I think I tend to admire a guys looks more than a females looks. Not sure what to make of this.

    I'd appreciate any responses. I know sexual orientation is pretty fluid, but I don't know what to think of this. I'm literally confused.
     
    #1 SubZero, Feb 3, 2015
  2. AKTodd

    AKTodd
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    Porn isn't generally considered a good indicator for orientation. Have you tried masturbating to just fantasy and only fantasy? Also, the fantasies should aim to be stuff you just make up in your head, not replaying porn you've seen. You might try that and see where your mind naturally goes (with, as you say, no judgement and no preconceptions about what you 'should' be thinking about).

    The makeup thing could just be a matter of personal taste - you just don't like heavily made up women (assuming you are into women to one degree or another).

    The reaction to bondage is interesting. What happens if you fantasize (rather than watch porn) about stuff of a bondage nature - whether involving you and a woman or you and a man? Either role (you tying up/you being tied up)? As you say, it sounds like you may have a bit of a kink or fetish in that area (and that's perfectly fine). The question might be with whom you'd like to exercise it with.

    Todd
     
    #2 AKTodd, Feb 3, 2015
  3. Lipstick Leuger

    Lipstick Leuger
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    It does not matter what we think, it's how you feel. Do you feel straight, or gay, or somewhere in between. No one gets to choose for you.
     
    #3 Lipstick Leuger, Feb 4, 2015
  4. Friendly Lion

    Friendly Lion
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    I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but my advice is to not worry about your sexuality so much. It's a very confusing, fluid, complex thing, and you really cant label everything exactly. I've found that it's easier to just know you like what you like (physically, sexually, romantically) and try to be open to anything that comes along. If you end up liking a girl? Great. A guy? Also great. It's hard to know until you get there though.

    Good luck, friend. I hope this helped a little :slight_smile:
     
    #4 Friendly Lion, Feb 4, 2015
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