I know I like men, i was married to one for 3 years. I grew up being taught that homosexuality was wrong, etc. Came to the realization that they were some of the best people i knew and that it didnt matter. I never allowed myself to even think or venture a thought other than being straight, i had brief thoughts but shut them down immediately. I truly loved my husband, he cheated on me and my heart was broken. Felt so hurt I jokingly said that i would like to kiss a woman, as i wanted anything to take my mind off the pain I was feeling. I cant stop thinking of it now, it scares me, i really want to experience this with a woman but I dont know how my family would react and i feel like i dont know what to feel. I dont even know where to begin and i dont know what to do? I do feel something when i think of kissing a woman but i dont know what that means. So confused...any advice?
Here's my thought... I wouldn't recommend going into this new exploration with the underlying feeling of having been hurt by a man, and looking elsewhere to feel comfort. That will not allow you to honestly explore your feelings, and it would only confuse you even further. However, if you get into the right mindset, of just wanting to understand yourself and explore your sexuality, I would start by trying to look in the community for women who are open to homosexuality, whether it be through online dating or perhaps joining a local LGBT group...I would start by being completely honest about your fears and uncertainty. More than likely you'll meet some very understanding females who would be open to exploring that with you! The most important thing is to be in a healthy and open state of mind. I wouldn't worry about what your family thinks until you know and understand what you think. I would concentrate on yourself first and foremost. If you discover you are attracted to women as well as men, then you're likely bisexual, which is awesome! I am in the same situation in regards to worrying about potentially having to explain these feelings to family, but let's worry about ourselves first. Just remember, anyone who doesn't accept you for exactly who you are, doesn't deserve to be in your life. Best of luck!
