20, male here. I am pretty confused about my sexuality. When I was younger, I always liked girls. Going through puberty, I had a little curiosity about some of my male friends, but it never went anywhere. I always was a little curious (even after puberty), mostly about giving another man oral. I started off watching straight porn, and at times I watched solo gay porn. But now, all I watch is gay porn. At first, it was just porn with HJs and BJs, and kissing or sex weirded me out. But now, the porn I watch goes all the way and I like it. I am thinking about finally experimenting with a guy. I found the reddit page nofap a year ago. They have a lot of articles on porn escalation (basically slowly adapting to more intense porn), and I think that's what I might have. It's possible that gay porn has been basically turning me more gay. But, what if I am just becoming more accepting of what I like? I only get these gay thoughts usually when I am getting in the mood to masturbate. In real life, I don't really notice "hot guys" or check out guys. I notice hot girls, but more for their faces and general body structure rather than their butts and boobs. I also can't really see myself being emotionally attached to a guy, its more just about the thought of sex that turns me on. Before, I thought about experimenting with just HJs and BJs. But now, I want to try out everything (including kissing and cuddling). I have put up ads on craigslist, and I have a profile on the popular mobile gay app. I have even sent pictures of 'myself' to a few guys in hot conversations on my phone app. As for girls, I have only been with 1 girl 1 time, last year. I have only had 2 semi-serious relationships in high school. But in college, I've had nothing serious. I get pretty nervous about talking to girls, so I don't have that much contact. I've had a few chances for hook-ups, but I have turned them down. I am not much for hook-ups, I would rather get to know the person first. However, I want to get better with girls and finally start having more contact with them. During a recent 16 day streak of no masturbation or porn, I realized that I started to notice girls more. They just seemed hotter in general. And my gay thoughts were slowly getting less and less. I also noticed that I was more confident. I felt like I had "less to hide" since I was 'clean'. However, they were still there. And I ended up giving it to gay porn. I noticed afterwards that I feel less confident now that I am back to gay porn. Some of my experiences fit in with HOCD, but I don't really have obsessive thoughts about it. My shame after watching gay porn has been getting less and less each time. Do you guys think I am straight, bi, gay? And is it possible that my porn escalation has led me to this? Some of the changes I had during my 16 day streak make me think that porn might be the cause. I want to experiment, but at the same time I am scared that I will always regret it if I don't enjoy it. Thanks for reading, and any advice would be great!
if u experiment with a guy it doesnt make u gay, u have to have a lot more confidence to hit on a guy i think. my advice is find someone u know is gay and ask them if they know any curious guys that want to experiment because ur curious ur self.
It's always a dangerous proposition to theorise on other people's sexualities. So I'll not throw around any labels. But here's some thoughts that may hopefully be of help: - I'm not entirely sure if watching porn (even excessively so) can actually switch your orientation. It can desensitise you to "vanilla" scenarios, and make you crave ever more extreme movies to give you the same release, but I don't think it can suddenly make you turn gay (or straight, for that matter). - It is possible to like different people for different things. It could be that with girls, you like the whole package: connecting with one, falling for one romantically, and getting barenaked in bed with one. While with men, you don't ever get that (romantic) connection, but you wouldn't be opposed to having some fun in the bedchamber. So it's fairly logical that, when you're taking sex out of the equation, you only notice girls, when guys do pop in to your head when the hormone levels are slightly raised. - There's nothing wrong with experimenting per se. It can teach you whether your fantasies translate to reality. But... it also isn't an exact science. Whatever you find through experiment: it's only one datapoint. If you end up sleeping with a guy and you like it, then you found out that you can have fun with a guy. It doesn't necessarily mean that you should be with guys exclusively in the future. If you don't like it... then there's no real reason to be ashamed. You were curious, you tried it, it didn't work out, you learned a bit more about yourself in the process. Trust me: even if you're fully straight, not all of the sex you have will always be completely mind-blowing, and that's no source of shame either! So: if you feel like experimenting would give you some more clarity, then by all means: go for it (though as always: be safe and careful. don't just rush to the house of some guy you only ever saw a dick pic of). But don't treat whatever you find as a source of shame or definitive proof. Just a new piece of the puzzle. And: if you find yourself liking girls more for "the whole package", then do continue trying to meet and talk to them. There too, don't see this as some "make or break" situation. If you talk to one and it doesn't work out, then that's just one thing that didn't work out, not some grand failure that you should feel horrible for! OK, the above isn't a decisive answer. But I hope it can be of some help!
