I am curious to know what peoples' responses are in regards to Asexual Homoromanticism. What is your rationalization and logic as to why those who identify as Homoromantic are more inclined romantically towards the same sex and not the other? If a person is Asexual, in the conventional sense of the term, and has little to no sexual attraction then what drives their romantic attraction? I'm at a stage where I am trying to understand who I am and after fairly recently accepting that I am a homoromantic demisexual rather than simply being Gay, I have been questioning a lot. I feel that I have always naturally been emotionally and romantically drawn towards the same sex whilst almost feeling vacant and withdrawn towards the opposite sex but off late I have been wondering, why? My personal thought process is that Men exude an energy that I find is compatible with who I am as a person and growing up I have always put myself in the female role of heterosexual relationships I observed in the media . There is also the aesthetic/sexual appeal I harbor which plays a key role. What I really want to know is what drives romantic attraction?
as far as what my reaction is to people who say they are asexual homoromantics, that's an easy one: ACCEPTANCE. No need for rationalization or explanation, if that is what someone says they are, they have shared a very important an intimate part of themselves. And it certainly makes sense to me. We fall in love with who we fall in love with. Some people fall in love with persons of the opposite sex, or other people like me fall in love with people of the same sex. Now the issue of whether someone has a high sex drive, middle, lower, or different, that is different. I've definitely known heterosexual women who were romantically in love with a man but had zero sex drive. I think that can apply to anyone.
Well, I identify as a biromantic asexual, so not sure how relevant my response may be, but when it comes to attraction you have to remember that there are three levels. Romantic, physical, and sexual. You can have all three of these for one gender, or two for one and one for the other. It all depends on the person. If you feel sexual attraction for someone, it doesn't necessarily have to follow with romantic attraction, nor does physical or romantic attraction have to follow with sexual attraction. It's like people who find they can only be sexually attracted to one sex (gays and straights). For homoromantic and heteromantic individuals, the same principle applies. In my case, it applies for both, haha! Hope that helped a little...
Thanks for your response! I'm curious though, what is the difference between "physical" and "Sexual" attraction? I always thought they were the same or at the very least intertwined. ---------- Post added 6th Feb 2015 at 04:17 PM ---------- "No need for rationalization or explanation, if that is what someone says they are..." I really like and agree with what you said. I do think the reason I posted this query was more of a self analysis and wanting to know how other Asexuals felt, their justification because homo romantic attraction is such an abstract concept without the sexual aspect. I come from an environment where everything said, done or thought HAS to be followed up by an explanation and reasoning so it never has been "just because" . Basically I'm at a stage where I am asking myself a lot of "WHYs" and failing to come towards any concrete answers. I was basically trying to wrap my mind around my own romantic attraction and sexuality and understand why I feel drawn towards men and not women, romantically. I do agree with you though I guess it's time I stop asking "WHY" and simply accept it for what it is.
That's like asking someone to explain why they're gay/straight/pan/bi/ace/anything. Each person has their own explanation, but no matter how they explain it, the point is, they are what they are. Some bisexuals feel attraction to more than one gender, but could only imagine themselves in a serious relationship with one of them. I guess it's the same as that, but without the sexual attraction. I dunno, some things don't need an explanation, and sexuality is one of them
No problem I hope it made things a little clearer. "Physical" attraction basically refers to the physical features of someone. So you could find someone appealing, or aesthetically pleasing. "Sexual" attraction...well, do I really need to explain this one? XD
that! or why they're left handed. or why they have brown eyes. or why they have peanut allergies. it just is.
i am ace and gay, i didn't realize people thought there had to be an explanation for it :-0 you don't have to rationalize your identity. it is what it is, as far as i'm concerned! i like girls but i wouldn't have sex with one, and that's how i define my orientation. like Young Blood said, there's different kinds of attraction, and they don't always line up! :- D -Darby
Hi! I don't know why people are misconstruing my query. I didn't seek out the justification of other folks, those who don't identify as Asexual or Demi, I was instead wanting to hear from Asexual/Demi folks themselves! I want to know was there a point where y'all actively questioned why you liked the same sex romantically as opposed to the opposite? Society tries to force feed us that SEX=ROMANCE, that these two traits are intertwined and that you fall in love with someone because you're attracted to their looks and want to be sexually intimate with them. I was curious as to how other Aces felt about their romantic attractions. I personally as a Gay Demi am trying to figure it out, why am I romantically attracted to men and totally vacant when it comes to women? I guess though the general consensus here is a resounding "IT IS WHAT IT IS" Lol so I'll take that for now.
