I know it doesn't matter, because I am only interested in pursuing a relationship with a woman, but it drives me crazy that I keep changing my orientation status from lesbian to bisexual and back. :bang:
Well if it helps I'm in the same stage as you, except I keep going back between Straight, Gay, and Bisexual. I'm only interested in pursuing relationships with women, yet I do not have the confidence in asking them out just purely based on their appearances. I can imagine same-sex experiences but only with a very limited amount of people that reflect a really good male body. Might be self-esteem issues, I don't know. But even then, the whole experience would be like "let's get if over with". Back when I was in junior high, girls would talk about male kpop groups and how hot they looked, while for us guys we talked female kpop groups and I really did think that they looked beautiful. Not sexy like dtf, but they are very attractive. I would check out a girl's butt and and shake my head in agreement with my friends, and it would feel natural. Didn't feel out of place. Would you mind talking about your past crushes?
When I was younger I had crushes on boys but never talked to them. With girls I didn't recognize that I was attracted to them because it was such a foreign concept. It was also more intense and not just based on physical appearance like it was for boys. The thing with my attraction to men is that them being straight is a turn off for me. Idk why but if I see a hot guy with a girl, or if he expressed interest in me, Im instantly not attracted to him anymore, which makes me think that I'm only aesthetically or platonically interested.
That's interesting because that's how I feel for guys. If a guy asks me out, I feel like I would only go out for the sake of "eh why not" because I've been able to have sexual thoughts about men, but not because I'm actually interested in him. It would feel awkward to me actually. Dating a guy in my mind is like dating one of my guy friends. Does it feel awkward to you about holding hands/intimacy with guys?