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Confused- Would love advice!

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Serenabelle, Feb 9, 2015.

  1. Serenabelle

    Regular Member

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    Questioning
    Hi, so I'm an 18 year old girl and I'm confused about my sexuality. My confusion started when I was 14. Here are some facts broken up so they're easier to read.

    -When I was a kid, I only had crushes on boys.

    -However, one time when I was younger (12?) a classmate showed me a video of a girl stripping, and I got turned on. Sometimes after that, I'd look up those videos. I never really get turned on in the same way watching guys strip. But even after that, I only had crushes on guys, and I never thought about being with girls sexually.

    -When I started high school, I began noticing girls in a way I hadn't before. However, I couldn't tell if I wanted to be with a girl or if I just thought they were beautiful. I thought about my sexuality constantly, and it caused me a lot of stress.

    -After freshman year, my confusion mostly went away, and I began having casual flings with guys. Sometimes they were very satisfying sexually, sometimes not. I thought I was straight. However, I mostly stopped having intense crushes (besides on male celebrities lol) until I met someone this year.

    -My boyfriend and I dated for a few months. I thought about him constantly, and I believe I was falling in love with him. I never had such intense feelings for anyone before him. I was heartbroken when we broke up. I felt like I was being squeezed internally and I cried every day for about 2 months. When I was with him, I did not question my sexuality at all. However, after I finally got over him, my confusion came back.

    -All throughout high school I have watched both lesbian and heterosexual porn. I've also often felt the urge to kiss another girl.

    -I tend to think girls are more beautiful to look at than guys.

    -I made out with my best friend (a girl) once, and I didn't feel anything. But I also don't usually feel much just from kissing a guy. (Except with my ex).

    -At this point, I could see myself having sexual relations with a girl as well as a guy. When I think about giving sexually, I think I'd rather give to a girl than a guy, but I'd rather receive sexually from a guy than a girl.

    -Recently, my fantasies have been nearly equally about guys and girls, where they used to be entirely heterosexual.

    -I've never had a crush on a girl, and I don't think I could see myself in a relationship with one. I like the idea of being protected by a guy, which I don't feel from a girl. Cuddling with a guy makes me feel safe and more turned on than cuddling with a girl.

    -I get turned on when I hookup with guys.

    -I've never been with a girl sexually besides that one kiss, but I've gone all the way with guys, and enjoyed it.

    Am I just bi-curious? Am I bisexual? Am I straight and just find women aesthetically pleasing? Could I even be lesbian and denying it (although I don't think I am because I've always liked guys)? I know no one can answer these questions except me, but it's causing me a lot of confusion and frustration, especially because I thought I was through this confusing stage when it went away after freshman year, so I'd love some input. Sorry this is so long! Thanks!
     
  2. jay777

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  3. YuriBunny

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    Sounds like you're probably bisexual, imo.
     
  4. lilstar04

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    too soon to say just bi-curious since your kiss with your best friend well unless your were in love with her you would feel sexual. It maybe you have yet found a girl who you fall in love with then that would make a difference that would lean you towards bisexual. You must want/desire and enjoy sex with a female and want to be a relationship to be bi sexual.
     
  5. Laine

    Laine Guest

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    BiSEXUAL :slight_smile: