My younger sister (15) believes that she is asexual. I find it hard to understand being asexual, and it is difficult for me to be supportive because of that. I almost feel like it's not possible that she is, and I feel bad for that because I want to fully accept her orientation. She said that she does not feel sexually attracted to men or women, and she does not want to be in a relationship with either. She has had a few boyfriends before but she quickly decides she does not like them and breaks up with them. My mom does not believe her and keeps saying that she just hasn't met the right man or woman yet. She also says that to me sometimes; She says there is still a possibility that I might meet a really nice girl and marry her. This is extremely unlikely at best for me. She does not say it to me in a way that means she does not believe me or does not approve of me being gay, at least I think so. Can asexual people here offer me advice on what I can say and do to be supportive of her? Can you help me explain and help me understand asexuality so I can accept it as a valid orientation? How can I also convince my mom of this?
As someone who is relatively monosexual, you should be able to understand the lack of desire that she experiences as a result of having that same lack of desire when it comes to women. You support those who happen to be asexual no differently than you support those who happen to be homosexual or bisexual. You let them live. You allow them to carry on with their life and make decisions for themselves that they find personally satisfying. You don't question them and insinuate that they aren't capable of making these distinctions for themselves. The question of whether she is actually asexual and to what degree is irrelevant. I highly doubt that you would question an individual who was heterosexual or homosexual and decided that they were completely content with being single. You would wish them the best. You would likely commend them for finding contentment without something that is such a central part of our society. She is no different. Don't sit around on the hunch that she will one day change her mind. Be content in the fact that she is content. That is all the matters.
This is from another thread, posting here in the hope its ok: You might think about giving her some hints without questioning her . Imo a healthy nutrition might also help... maybe some sports, which also might brighten the mood, like taking walks... just an overall feeling of joy and energy... and some people need an emotional connection first... and if she didn't keep up friendships, maybe she could try to find people she can really talk with, on a deeper basis... on a friendship level first... She might think about a few of the hints, and give it some time... hugs
Honestly although our family is vegetarian, she and I do not healthy diets. She does jujitsu a few times a week, but she could probably use more activity. I probably need it oo because I don't get any. We're both doing homeschool this year so we don't get a lot of social interaction. It's a possibility that this is contributing, but I don't want to not believe her. ---------- Post added 10th Feb 2015 at 01:39 AM ---------- Thanks for the advice That helps.
