Very confused! I really like a guy at the moment, who is bisexual, like me, and every time I like a guy I go for his softer, more feminine traits. I can see that's why I like him. I also really like a girl who is our mutual colleague, and I thought she would be supportive as she is bi too, but she is upset that I like him :icon_sad: I don't see it as a contradiction because it's not like I am fancying a macho hetero guy. My feelings for him are a safer way of expressing my feelings for femininity, in some ways. So does this mean I should really be "more" gay than I think I am, and like more women, but having repressed it so much I can only express it through liking bi guys??? I think that is the case, but I can't be sure. I wish our female friend would understand that and not see it as rejection, after all she likes guys too? ---------- Post added 11th Feb 2015 at 06:53 AM ---------- Forgot to add, since starting to like the guy, I have felt more relaxed with the girl and we were having some cute flirty moments, but sadly that's being hindered by her inability to accept my feelings/relationship for him. I'm not saying I'm only liking him to get closer to her, because I really do like him, but I do think I feel more comfortable to hide behind my feelings for him and explore liking the girl from this safe place... Although it's more complex because she doesn't see it that way...
Well who cares lol But in all seriousness, I read you other thread, and it sounds like you and him are having a great time. So go with that first, one at a time. If it doesn't work out that's another matter, but now focus on what you have with him.
Thanks, good advice, I will try! I did like her first though for about a year, and I'm not yet dating the guy really, so we will see what happens......!!
I think all it means is that you like him. So go for it. As far as if you need to be "more gay," no, you just need to be yourself!
I'm glad I read this I have feelings for a co-worker too I have a post on it.And I m so glad things are working out for you!!! Just wanted to say thanks for sharing it's nice to read people's stories
I'm not really sure if the relative femininity or masculinity of the person matters, I mean that you should be 'consistent' with it. I have a bisexual friend who seems to be largely attracted to very masculine men and very feminine women, neither jeopardising how she qualifies herself. I've read your other thread too, and it sounds like there are nice sparks between you and this guy to let it go because the girl is not happy about it. Unless you believe that this is jealousy, and in fact you would actually rather be with her (is she the same girl you have the crush on?) It seems a shame to throw something away, or the possibility of something however small, and fun, for the uncertainty of someone else. It is how you feel that matters. How she expresses bisexuality is not necessarily how you express it- and that is absolutely fine.
Yep, same girl! To be honest, I love them both and really couldn't choose between them. I don't want to have to choose. I fall for the individual rather than the gender so that's what matters to me. I'm not actually dating or having any physical relationship with either of them yet though, but the sparks are nice, with both of them
I definitely seem to prefer feminine men and masculine women, by which I mean, for example:- a straight person would expect a man to wear a jacket with big shoulders and a woman to wear a cardie with rounded shoulders, neither would be sexy to me. But a woman in a jacket with big shoulders and a man in a round cardie? Both hot! There's that blend again which works for me :icon_bigg
