can I get some help?

It is a possibility that you are straight, but you just get turned on by gay porn. Porn is not your sexuality. I know lesbians on this forum who watch gay porn, and I know straight guys who watch gay porn.

That bein said, the thing you said about girl's personalities, that makes me think you might be into guys more. Have you considered that you may be bisexual?

If I can be honest with you, I'm gay and yet somehow, the female form still turns me on physically. I don't want to have sex wih girls, but I do find them extremely beautiful. Men it's the opposite; I don't usually get erections for guys, but I do want to pursue a relationship with one both romantically and sexually. I can't see myself settling down with a girl like I can with a boy. I can appreciate the beauty of the female body, and it seems like you might be the same way.

You say you can't see yourself with a guy in a relationship right? Then maybe you aren't gay or bisexual. Maybe you are. Try for one day to think of yourself as gay. Go about your normal activities, and reflect on how it made you feel. Do the same with being straight. Pretend that you have no sexual desire whatsoever for whichever sex, Allow yourself to freely check out the other. Which one feels more natural? Maybe this will help you come to a conclusion.

 

There are so many reasons as to why people watch the porn they watch. Aside from real sexual attractions, taboo acts could turn you on. I remember being told not to smoke or do drugs so often that one day it occurred to me: what if I did try it? How would it feel?

Another thing I'd like to point out about porn is that what may seem arousing in porn may not provide the same amount of arousal in reality, which is usually true. Some also think spying on people having sex is arousing (probably true in my case).

You mentioned that you have anxiety, so I assume that it comes with stress. Careful with using porn as a way to relieve your anxiety because that tells your brain that it's the only way to calm down.

Porn is also used as a way to fantasize about things that we could never have, which becomes a fantasy. A guy could masturbate to a guy because of he admires his physical perfection, but also not have feelings for guys in real life.

I think we'd all like to believe that whatever turns us on defines our orientation, however this is not the case. If it helps, put sex aside and imagine who would you date, hold hands, kiss, etc and spend time with? Would you spend more time with guys be because they're you're friends or would you spend time with a guy because you like her?

Being gay isn't just liking sex with the same gender. If you cannot date or imagine your life with them then that's a problem you need to address. Heterosexual couples dont have sex everyday to define their straightness. I think that's way so many people get confused because they think porn may mean something when it may not at all.

 

You've had two quite lengthy answers, I'm not sure what else you're looking for if you haven't even replied to either of them.

 

Hi, it is not really clear what kind of help you are looking for...

To me it looks like you anxious with a slightly obsessive issues, which will cause you to over-think and be over anxious with relation to your sexuality.
Anxiety can also cause you to be "out of tune" with your feelings & emotions an it might make it more difficult to find out your true feelings.

So, you are curious about guys: take it at face value, and take getting to know yourself one step at a time. It is what it is: curiosity. In itself it does not have to mean anything about your sexuality, you could be straight, bi, or gay, anywhere in between. It will take time to figure things out, and to accept yourself.

Think about how curious are you: do you want to act on it?
Sexuality is a spectrum, but it also cannot really 'change' that much: if you are bisexual & decided to experiment with guys, then this will not stop you from liking women and being capable of being involved with them, it will not make you gay.

The same if you are actually straight , and just curious/have maybe a fetish for being with a guy, it that case experimenting might put things to rest for you.

On the other hand if you are gay, then not experimenting will not prevent you from being gay, it might only keep you wondering for longer.

So, what I am trying to say is that, only you can find out your sexuality, and figure it out for yourself. Being curious in itself does not mean much, it just means you are curious!
Sexuality is flexible, but it also cannot change that much, so you have nothing to loose if you decide to act on your curiosity, & and you could gain some valuable insights into what you like.

In all cases: don't stress and live your life! Leave the worry about labels till later.

 

I used to think that I was sexually attracted to girls, but now I just appreciate their bodies in an aesthetic way. Sometimes I will get turned on by girls if I'm watching porn, and it's confusing, but I know that I don't have any real sexual interest in girls like I'm sure I mentioned. I never think about having sex with girls, but I do all the time with guys. I don't see a lot of guys that I think are attractive where I live, and I've only had two crushes.

I don't really "check out" guys either for the same reason. I never see any hot guys, and it's harder to see things like butts with men's clothing than it is with women's.

It's really just up to you to discern how you feel towards either sex. To me, like I said it seems like you're gay. You said above that you think "why are they doing this when they could be fucking girls?" I can relate to that to some extent. Sometimes it baffles me why I want to have sex with men and not women. I just have to accept that fact and be happy with it. I am they way I am, and you are the way you are and we can't change it.

 

A while ago I thought I was straight up gay, like Kinsey 5 gay. However, my pasts crushes and sexual responses to the girls I have liked told me otherwise. I made out with a girl that I liked a lot and it gave me a boner. The other girl I held hands with also gave me a boner. Both didn't work out because they kept following me like dogs on leashes while I wanted to hangout with my guy friends.

I've also been attracted to older men, which in itself is a separate issue with my orientation. There are 2 open gay guys at my workplace and one in particular which I find cute because he's chubby. The other one I find much more attractive is also a cubby guy. I'm not sure what it is with bigger men in general but they seem to get my attention lol.

 

Of course it's overwhelming. It's something that you don't consider in a hetero-normative society. The truth is that everyone is different, and being a different orientation is one of the differences that make up a person.

Chances are, you won't be able to figure this out overnight, but take it a day at a time and keep questioning yourself, because sooner or later you will find an answer that best suits you.

 

You definitely don't want it to be interfering with school. You'll be adding more stress if you didn't do well in a class.

Speak to a counselor or someone who can help you out. If it's interfering with your everyday life that's when you need outside help.