Hi everyone. Please bare with me Im very new to this so it might be long winded. I wanted to post something here for advice before I decided to call an LGBT helpline and had to talk person to person, or before I confided in a friend. Im a 26 year old female, and Im straight. Or thought I was, but now I think about it maybe I have been subconsciously questioning for a few years as I remember one or two points in my life where I had met another female and found them attractive but have never acted on it and brushed the feelings away. Anyway, Im in a new job and I work with a woman who is 10 years my senior and who is gay. I work very closely with her on night shifts and work 14 hours a night, so I would spend a lot of time with her. In the past couple of weeks I have been thinking of her more and more when I come home from work, and look forward to going to work to see her. We get on so well and have a really great laugh while we are working together. Ive been really confused when thinking of her because Im unsure what these feeling are or where they have come from. Im pretty sure my feelings for her might be something more than friendship and I really don't know what to do. When she mentions her ex- partner who she is still in contact with I get jealous, when we talk about her getting out and meeting someone else for her to get over her ex, I get jealous. She has mentioned on numerous occasions that she likes older women which makes me disappointed because I feel she's not going to ever be interested in me because Im younger. What Im going to mention next might sound very immature of me, and I can't believe Im about to say it because if I were to talk about a man I have feelings for Id never say anything like this because it sounds like a teenage crush.. But here goes..... Whats confusing me is the fact that I love when she laughs, or smiles a big toothy grin, or the way she looks at me sometimes, or the fact that she's so caring despite her strong dominant exterior. Whats even more silly is I find her more attractive when she wears her glasses for reading. And here goes another fear that Im terrified of eventually sleeping with a woman, if thats what I want to do, because its like being a virgin all over again and I wouldn't know what to do at all. Its such an inadequate feeling. Im not at all scared of these feelings, or ashamed. As I feel that were all humans and its totally normal in this society I live in to be gay. But I suppose Im just here to ask if other people started to question their own sexuality in this way, and Im basically just looking to rant. Im going to be honest I do hope these feelings disappear soon, and thats not at all because I don't want them because she is female but purely because Im 99% sure nothing will happen because she's a co-worker, a close friend and she's not interested in me. And these feelings if they were to become stronger will just hurt me if I do begin to like her more. Thanks so much if any one reads this. Even if people don't read it I feel much better for typing it and getting it out there
Have you had any past crushes or feelings similar to this in the past? What about for men? And what about when you are near her? Do you have the want to kiss her or hold her hands? Or better yet, you can ask her how did she found out she was gay, but careful how you ask her. Be sincere about it like you mean no trouble when you ask her, since its for your benefit anyways.
Thanks so much for your reply!!! Yes I do have feelings of wanting to kiss her when I'm near her and have fantasised about it. She's told me she's known from a very young age that she's gay and has only ever been with women, she's a very confident person which is so intimidating which makes me think I'd never act on my feelings I'd be too scared. I'm really not like this when I like men, I'm a very confident person myself and wouldn't be scared to make a move with a confident man, so this has thrown me. :/
maybe you just admire her as a person, or maybe you're really attracted to her in another way.. who knows, but it would always be a great feeling to love someone, whether as a friend, as a partner or as something else :icon_redf yes you may hurt sometimes, face rejections & all, but that's normal.. loving someone is a good thing, even if you know that your feelings won't be reciprocated.. even those in a relationship experience problems too.. besides, how can you be sure that she's not interested in you? sometimes, it's actually the other way around.. you know she's gay and what she knows is you're not, so she could be the one thinking "she's not interested in me." it could be possible that she's hiding her interest because of that it happens to me always, haha :lol: but hey, even if that's not the case, don't force the feeling away, because sometimes it will make you feel more attracted to the person.. just let time do that for you just enjoy what you're feeling now.. it's not immature, it's human (*hug*) :thewave:
Hi there , I'm actually in the same boat as you expect my co worker has a boyfriend , I can't stop myself looking at her gazing at her or smiling at her or even walking into her while i am daydreaming ever since i laid on her last year , 2014 she has been on my mind 24-7 , I had to find out who she was , when i eventually did of course i added her to facebook and liked her pictures she put up, but never commented , what i find strange if she knows i like her, why won't she ask me about it , or why doesn't she delete me off facebook , I get so flustered when i'm around her , she makes me so hot inside , i want to rip her clothes off , to be honest when i look at her i am visualizing i am fucking her in my brain. Well the only advice i can possibly help you with is , Go outside of work on a date friend date and tell her how you feel , Life is to short and least she knows , go for it , what have you got to lose !!
