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Unsure of my sexuality

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by flyaway, Feb 17, 2015.

  1. flyaway

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    lima
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So here's the thing:

    I always thought that I would fall in love with a guy and have a boyfriend and things like that, but then, I went to this only girls catholic school (I was 8) and when I was like 15 I started liking one of my classmates. First I thought i only admired her but she had the most delicious smell and whenever she touched me I felt the 'electricity'. I got so sacared and I push her away and did my best to hide it (she was straight and I didn't want to be rejected) I tried to move on so I met these guys in a summer camp but instead of finding a new romance that would make me forget about her, I found good friends. So I didn't move on until the end of high school. I never kissed her because I never got the chance and we've never been close friends.

    I never told my mom, so I started talking about the lgbt community to know what was her opinion (I even made her watch glee) I found out she was supportive, but then she told me that a parent always knew when his kid was like that because it was too obvious, then she said that I wasn't bc I've liked boys since kindergarten.

    I went to college and I met this gorgeous girl and I've started developing feelings for her, I can't stop thinking about her and her eyes and personality makes me melt. She didn't seem straight because she wasn't boy crazy (and also one time she said that she'd love to go a college of only girls) so I wanted to go a little further, but weeks later, we were having a conversation about the lgbt (with a couple of friends, too) and she told us she didn't liked
    women. All my hopes have vanished.

    I also have celebrity crushes. I tried to focus on hot guys on TV and I found some that are handsome, but then I payed attention to the actresses of my favorites tv shows and a few singers. I found some of them more attractive than the male ones.

    I know I can't put labels yet, i need to kiss a boy and a girl to know what I like (yeah I haven't kissed anyone, I'm so lame)

    To know which gender I like would be a relieve, but that's no possible anytime soon, so I want to know if anyone can relate (and also if you guys can give me some advice)
     
  2. Dansz

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    London
    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    im pretty much a copy of you but a male version (if that makes sense) i know its sometimes hard to pinpoint but what do you normally fantasize about, does the idea of intercourse or kissing a girl "arousing" and does it with a guy? just think over it for a while, like you said you cant adopt a label yet :slight_smile:

    -Dan x
     
  3. Numb

    Regular Member

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    I can relate. When i was sure im straight i jokingly told my mom that i was gay, and she didnt even wanna believe that i was joking she was just supportive and shit, so yeah.
    But i still wouldnt and couldnt come out as something cause 1.homophobic country 2. Im not sure what i am yet
    I've only been with girls, but i do find guys attractive, so not sure yet...
    Only time will tell, dont rush things and let the answers come to you darling, thats what im doing at least.
     
  4. abimaybe

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Phoenix, Arizona
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    This is exactly how I feel. I always assumed I was straight and that i just admired women or could notice their beauty. Until recently. I've developed a huge crush on my best friend. She's bi and I know she won't judge me but don't want to come out and then figure out I'm not bi. I don't want to be one of the stereotypical girls who says their bi and then decides their straight.
     
  5. flyaway

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    lima
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Yep I have wanted to kiss my crushes (the girl from high school and my college friend), I stare at their lips and I wonder what would it be like to kiss them. But I'm scared to try with her because she is straight. (At least she said she was)

    Thank you guys so much for your responses, love you all ^^