So a while back I told a girl that I liked her but she turned me down. However since then, my conversations with her have become more limited and I don't really want to talk to her. I've considered gay/bi/pan/straight, but none of the labels will stay true to me, at least not for long. My mind keeps going back and forth. My mind tells me that I'm gay because of what I can fap to (the fantasy at least), but in reality it doesn't feel right. I feel pressured to do it. When conversations begin with guys, I may notice their whole body and how attractive it might be, but it's still based on porn. As soon as conversations begin with men, it's like even if they were gay (which I have encountered before) the idea of having sex with them and in a relationship with them does not feel right... Anyone know what I mean? I feel like In the end, I would love someone for who they are and I've started to care less about their gender... Not confirmed yet but it's something I've considered. Trying to be open minded about it. And what triggered you to think that you weren't straight? And at what age?
I was fairly young when I realized I was different, but I learned that I am in the Asexual scale somewhere before I ever learned what Pan was. The thing I found most convenient in high school when I started learning about the LGBT community was something I learned from Ashley Mardell (on youtube): the label, the word that you give to other people is not important. If nothing feels quite right, find something that you resonate with. I often tell people that I am grey, because I am in the grey areas of the spectrum. Try not to let society bully you into accepting a label you feel is not quite right.
