Hi everyone! I am so glad I found this forum; it is so nice to read all the supportive and encouraging posts on here! I don't know if I'm posting this in the right place or not; sorry if this is not right. My question is: has anyone here ever "come out" on an online dating site (posting a picture, first name, etc.) while still in the closet as far as co-workers and friends are concerned? I ask because I am in this (fairly common, I think?) circular phase of questioning my sexuality but not feeling like I can be 100% certain until I have experience, but also having no way of getting experience because I am in the closet, so I continue questioning and doubting, etc. This has been going on a for a long while, and I am at the point now where I have been thinking a lot that I would like to just take the next step and try online dating. Part of me feels like I am being paranoid (I know I tend to be overly anxious about things) to even be worried about being outed from posting an online dating profile, since, as far as I know, I don't know any lesbian or bisexual girls ( :icon_sad: ), so the odds seem small that someone I know would also be on the site and see my profile, and also that if they did they would then go and tell other people I know about my orientation. On the other hand, I can't seem to make myself most my picture up there! I can't help but feel I should be confident and comfortable enough to be out to anyone before I take that step. I have read often on this forum that you don't have to have experience to know your orientation for sure, but I don't know how to get past this doubt that keeps returning. Does anyone relate to/have experience with this dilemma? Thanks so much! ---------- Post added 19th Feb 2015 at 11:59 PM ---------- sorry, I meant post, not most
That is what I am doing right now. I started using the location based dating apps and got in contact with some gay students at my school. Through the initial contact from the app I have started hanging out with them on the weekends. Besides my roommate I am not out to anyone who isn't openly gay/bi. Sure there is some risk that someone might see your profile and try to out you, but with most of these online dating services you can set your preferences so straight people cannot see your profile. So for someone to see your profile they would have to be looking for people of the same sex. I think most people who are gay would understand that you aren't out yet and if a "straight" person tried to out you they would essentially be admitting that they were looking for same sex matches on these sites. And you may be surprised by who you see on there. There have been several people I have known but didn't know that they were gay until I started using these apps. I have been using my picture and first name on these sites and haven't had any negative impact from them. Except for how much time I spend checking them.
