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Advice: I'm so sick of completely hiding this side of me, but I can't come out...

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by itsallbeautiful, Feb 20, 2015.

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  1. itsallbeautiful

    itsallbeautiful
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    Questioning
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    A few people
    I am a 16 year old girl and all the communities I am a part of (my school community, my family, and a place abroad that I go to every holiday) are very conservative and the people are quite exclusive. I have worked for years to be in the place I am socially in school, and I am still working to make a name for myself in the place abroad. If I were to come out as anything but straight, I would likely lose all social traction I have gained.

    I am interested in guys and have hooked up with a lot, but I have never been in a proper relationship. I am quite certain I like girls, although I have never been with a girl. I really want to be able to explore that side of myself because I feel so alone and stifled in this part of myself - I hate knowing I can't do anything. I spent so many years hating myself for my sexuality, and now that I have finally accepted it and even maybe appreciate it it's difficult to be surrounded by only completely straight people. I wish I had LGBT friends to at least talk to, let alone girls to be with.

    I somehow want to be able to live a double life... I live in a big European city so I've considered secretly going to gay clubs or something of that sort, although I realise that since I am underage that could be dangerous for me. I'm not really sure what I should do. I'm a people person and I like to spend my time around others. But lately, I've been feeling more and more alone in having to hide this part of myself. I wish I could find people outside of school to share this part of myself with. Where could I find that?
     
    #1 itsallbeautiful, Feb 20, 2015
  2. ForNarnia

    ForNarnia
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    Hey there :slight_smile: I'm really not sure how to help your situation at the moment. It totally sucks that you're unable to explore that side of yourself because of your community. Is there any kind of LGBT club or youth group in your area that you could go to? That way, you would be able to meet other LGBT people your age without having to break any laws by sneaking into night clubs. :/ We're all here if you need to talk, though I understand it's much better to talk to people face to face. *hugs*
     
    #2 ForNarnia, Feb 20, 2015
  3. Damien

    Damien
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    Hi
    'social traction' is something that if lost, can be regained again, with a set of folks who DO accept you as you are - and on that note, you might also be surprised that some of your current group could actually be more accepting than you think. But, take your time, no need to rush with disclosure. Once you are 18, by the way, which is only two years away, your ability to go to places you want will be unimpeded, so keep that in mind too. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Damien, Feb 20, 2015
  4. lilstar04

    lilstar04
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    Why must social status and reputation be worth any less bein anything but yourself? Many politicans and even actors and actress have come out. I don't think people view them any less. Actually I believe even more fans since they are honest abou themselves and can be viewed as anyone else. It's funny to fit in certain social class we must act a certain way we must have x amount of money, and also we must be perfect sexually. So many expectations! We expect others and others expect us it's exhausting.
     
    #4 lilstar04, Feb 20, 2015
  5. paris

    paris
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    Just google for whatever you're looking for. You could try to type in LGBT group London, or LGBT support London, etc. You should find plenty in your area. For example, you may try to search for a group on this site Stonewall, or ask London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard using their helpline, or email support. Just try not to worry too much, okay? I understand you feel helpless and find it impossible to come out now, I used to feel the same way, but things are going to change later. Just take your time. (*hug*)
     
    #5 paris, Feb 21, 2015
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