Hello! so since I turned 13 years old, I was sexually active almost everyday, cam with girls and watched porn. But last year when I turned 17 years old, it then began. Since then I've been questioning myself from time to time that I have a fear of becoming gay. But guys don't turn me on sexually, I just think they are good looking, Take Aaron Paul from Breaking Bad for instance, I think he looks good. I don't know why I keep having these "episodes". I always get stressed out. Only girls turns me on to be honest. What should I do? I keep getting stressed out, like now for instance when I make this thread. kind regards, Perkele
Episodes of what exactly? Do you feel that you might like the same sex during those times or is it just a sudden fear of being gay? At the end of the day, no one can say what your sexuality is but you (as longs as you're honest with yourself), but if this keeps happening and keeps coming up to the surface it might mean that you aren't exactly straight. My point is that it's important to be completely honest with yourself and not repress anything (not implying that you are). But, in order to help you, more information on this would be good.
Stress episodes. It's just a sudden fear of being gay. Well, I have been straight my whole life but then when I turned 17 it all began. Is it like an HOCD or something?
Do you know what triggered it? Did something happen/change when you turned 17? I don't think it's "HOCD". If it were OCD related it would probably be much worse but you said that you only go through episodes of it. Don't take my word for it, though, that's just what I think.
It could be HOCD, it might not. It's best to talk to a psychologist/therapist about that. But what makes you think that you're gay?
Well, I keep getting these weird phases about guys bodies and so on. That triggers the stress the most. It might be that I am a porn addict since I have watched porn everyday since 13-14 years old. what do you think?
To be frank, it sounds like you're in denial of your same-sex feelings. It's not that uncommon to genuinely believe that you are straight but then years later realize that you're not. That's exactly what happened to me and looking back it's mind-blowing how ignorant I was. I was basically unconsciously in denial. Of course, there is no guarantee that this is the case for you but it's worth to at least consider it. And if you do like the same sex it makes sense that it would stress you out because often times, for a lot of people, there is much shame attached to such feelings. Because of that they will most likely not feel completely good and natural in the beginning.
Well, til' this day, I still get turned on by women and not by men. But how come that stress appears? I don't believe I can be gay as I have been straight my whole entire life without questioning it, it's just happened last year and I dont know why its happening..
Well my 2c is that I don't think you're gay... but ultimately that's up to you. So you say you don't get turned on by guys irl. How about fantasising about them (without porn)? Do you ever have romantic feelings or fantasies about any guys? Are there any guys you want to get emotionally close to or open up to? Do you ever look at guys for enjoyment or because that's where your gaze happened to wander, rather than because you're "testing" your theories? I'd say if you answer yes / struggle to say no to any of those questions, then those are some things to consider re: your questioning. If you can confidently say no to all of them though, then I don't think there's much reason for you to suspect you're attracted to guys. Hope this helps
Well, fantasize sometimes, but I don't get turned on, I even tried watching gay porn and that doesn't turn me on. Thank you so much for your answer, I think I just struggle with depression.. Case closed.
For the record, I never thought you were gay. You could be bisexual though, but again, only you can truly know that. I'm just saying that there must be a reason behind these "episodes" which is probably worth investigating.
