So, simple question here. What's the difference between finding the act of sex attractive and actually finding it attractive? For example, some guys may find the act of gay sex attractive but not actually find gay sex attractive (if that makes any sense). If there's a fantasy factor involved then I suppose that plays a factor as well.
Don't think I can answer your question, but I think I understand what you mean. I think finding the act of gay sex attractive but not finding gay sex attractive is where I am at the moment, but I'm not really sure. Generally, if I watch two guys having sex there are a lot of things that turn me off or things that I don't want to do, but despite this I can sometimes mastrubate to gay imagery if I let the fantasy take over, or something. I'm not really sure how to describe it. It's the one thing that always makes it impossible for me to accept that I am gay, because as soon as it becomes a reality or I am actually watching what is going on, it no longer becomes arousing. Sometimes I feel nothing and sometimes just anxious, but not turned on the slighest. That's when I generally switch to something else, solo girls for instance and I feel almost instantly aroused. I'm not really getting anywhere in my quest to find out who I really am, because of things like this and my constant doubt of everything. I mean I can confidently say I have had romantic and sexual feelings towards real girls in the past, and that that's not something I want to be without. But constantly doubting your sexuality just makes it impossible to enjoy yourself in a sexual way, I mean I am able to on good days but mostly I spend my time worrying which is really ruining things for me. It's very easy to say that you just have to accept who you are etc, but when you constantly get mixed messages it's just impossible and feels like torture.
well, you aren't going to find yourself in the fantasy world that the internet provides. where the rubber hits the road is where you will find out who you are. Stop watching porn, get out and experience real life. If you hookup with a guy, make sure they know you are questioning and aren't sure if you can go through with anything. If they aren't cool with that move on. there is a whole world of real guys and gals out there. Jax - I think you are talking about, the difference between seeing or fantasizing about something, and the reality of doing it in person. I don't know anyone can answer that. Sometimes you need to try something in order to really know if you aren't into it. Sometimes you don't. YMMV
I think the difference may vary from person to person. So it is difficult to answer a question posed in an abstract or generalized manner. Maybe You should ask Yourself. What is the difference for me?
Hi Jax, Are you asking if being turned on by man-on-man porn equals being turned on by real life sex with a man? If that's the case, I think yes, porn is way different but is probably a good indicator. I might be wrong, but I get the impression you are trying to rationalize your attraction to men away with this question. I understand that you are trying to sort out the puzzle, but until you try physical contact with a real man you won't get an answer on your question. You know best. Maybe it could help you to focus a little more on your feelings and trust what you feel instead of trying to analyze everything you feel. You sound afraid. I know it's tough but hang in there.
I don't get the question you put in your post, so it'd probably be a good idea to rephrase it somehow... Anyway, if your asking the question that I read in the thread title, I suppose sex is gender and the act of sex is rumpy pumpy times. *derp*
^ Lol, yeah I had trouble wording the question, but didn't know how else to word it. It's like a part of me wants me to settle on an orientation but fluctuates a lot, which apparently is common in bisexuals. I think all of this is just confusing to me. I try to find a reason for a lot of things going on in my life but sometimes I guess there isn't a reason for everything.
Being bisexual is an orientation. Yes, it can be that you are turned on by some images, but when it comes to do it, you are repulsed. Same thing as with fantasies.
