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Wanting to make sure

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Beautiful Mount, Feb 24, 2015.

  1. Beautiful Mount

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    I posted a thread on asking advice to come out and telling me friends, which i am still yet to do :confused: i have accepted myself as gay, but i want to definitely make sure i am before i come out, so as a nearly 14 year old male, i want to tell you how I feel about the same sex, sorry if it sounds really weird or strange sorry, but i just definitely want to make sure, here goes. So when I look at a boy, who i think are good-looking, I stare at them for awhile until they look at me, and then I look away and blush :icon_redf. Also, when I think of myself with a boy, *when i do think of myself with a boy, always think of myself as like 16 or 17 with someone else who is the same age?* I like it, and i get kinda turned on, sounds weird... :confused: and I just like to think of myself being held and being kissed by a boy, but when im with a girl i dont really get turned on, but I enjoy the company. I just want to know if it is a phase, because im sure as a hormonal developing teenager, you can get pretty confused if it is a phase or if it is real, and if i am gay, like i said i accept it, but ever since i was like 9 i have always been attracted to boys, can a phase really last 4-5 years? just really want to make sure before i come out, sorry if this sounded weird :confused::lol:
     
  2. CrazyAwkward

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    If you've felt this way for so long I'd say it's more than just a phase. Only you can say for sure, but that's my opinion.

    So, I'd say don't stress. Just feel what you feel, and enjoy it. And if your feelings do end up changing someday (although from the sounds of it I don't think they will), that's ok. Go with it and let yourself feel and enjoy those feelings too. Good luck (*hug*)
     
  3. Robbie

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    For me it sounds like you are gay. I don't know exactly what do you mean by enjoying company with girls, but it doesn't seems to be as strong as the feelings toward other guys.
     
  4. Beautiful Mount

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    I knew I was gay, but I still really I just can't come out, don't have the courage, also what another thing is strange too is that sometimes I get the feeling I have anxiety disorder or something because I literally won't talk to anyone I know but anyway, I blush all the time if anyone mentions the word gay or it is a topic to do with gays, or even if it is has a small inclination to it, but also I blush if one of my friends that are girl say, "oh he's attractive." Because I find him attractive too, depends on the person. Also I always see myself coming to friends an family by the time I'm 15 or 16, because if just don't then it will be hard to find a boyfriend, I was planning on coming out to my friends 13-14 age, but something really changed. :confused:
     
  5. CrazyAwkward

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    That's alright. You don't have to rush into coming out. That's something you should only do when you feel ready. If you think waiting another year or two is best, that's ok. Don't feel discouraged that things aren't going according to your original plan. Plans change all the time in life. Just do whatever you feel is best for you :slight_smile:
     
  6. kindy14

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    You are physically & emotionally attracted to guys, not so much girls. That would seem to indicate you are gay.

    Yes, you are getting into the period of questioning and discovery about a lot more than just your sexuality. You need to safely explore things with kids your own age.

    I know when I was 11/12 I was so hooked on this girl, and then I had a crush on my best male friend at about the same time. I only ended up messing around with my best friend for a couple of months before we moved out of town. I can tell you the feelings, both physical and emotional, were nearly identical for both my best friend, and the girl I was crushing on.

    There is no timetable for your life. You do things at your own pace, and don't feel like you HAVE to do anything because that's what "gays" do. A person who cares about you doesn't force you to do anything you don't want to do, or aren't ready for yet.
     
  7. Beautiful Mount

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    Luckily, my male friends are not very attractive, I know I'm mean, so I don't think I'm going to be worrying about having a straight crush on my male friends so our friendship will be ruined, but there is still telling them, Idk how they will react, I think one of my friends will be accepting because his brother is gay, and really supports gay people, if my friends don't accept me then I know who my true friends are. I'm going to start thinking about stuff and take it at my own steady pace :slight_smile:, also my friends think I like this girl, and they're going, "are you going to ask her out?" Or "come on, you like her." And I'm just like "Yeaaah....?" In my head I'm like NoNoNOno, so it is so awkward, I don't even know where they got this idea of me liking this girl from?????

    ---------- Post added 26th Feb 2015 at 02:47 PM ----------

    I'm going to start taking it slow and steady and I'm going to going through stuff, and I can't let it be on my mind for the net 2 years, so I'm going to just brush it under the carpet for a little while, and then when I'm ready, I will come out, I don't want to come out too early or too late, too early being now and too late being like 18 or 19 :slight_smile: