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i keep remaining uncertain

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by starrite, Feb 24, 2015.

  1. starrite

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2015
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    limburg
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'l give you the long story short,
    Im 20 years Young at this moment, live in the the Netherlands and havent really been in any romantic or sexual relationship yet.

    i have always been pretty sure that i am sexually attracted to men, i regulary watch gay porn or read gay stories and i can see myself go "all the way" with some men and occasionally a woman too, but when i start to think about actually entering a relationship with another male i become uncertain.
    Though there is a part of me that sais it would be the right thing, i cannot really imagine having a relationship with a male yet and because of this uncertainty i haven't come out yet to anyone and my friends and family believe i am straight at the moment.

    I'm fairly certain i have a crush on a friend of mine, he is bisexual, but leaning towards men instead of woman as off late, we have much in common and i really feel awfull if i'm not with him or can't talk with him.

    i believe entering a relationship with a male would be the right thing to do but i always have this doubth if it is actually the way to go, or that i keep talking to myself that i am not gay but just crave a relationship now and all this will just "pass over".

    This feeling has started to arise when i was 13 and by now i am 20 years old and this uncertainty is just completely devouring me.

    So deciding that i needed to take somekind of action, i joined this forum in hopes of maybe getting some awnsers, stories from people who went trough similar situations and starting to take steps in the right direction, accepting myself and finally realize if i really am gay or if its just a big façade.

    Thank you in advance, i hope you can help me choose my future path, and generally enjoy life again instead of this constant bickering and doubth.
     
  2. SonicBoom

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2015
    Messages:
    542
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Trying to find my way.
    Gender:
    Male
    Welcome Starrite.

    I'm so sorry that you are hurting so much. (*hug*)


    Please realize that you do not need all the answers today.

    One day, your true orientation will reveal itself to you.

    Just take this journey of self discovery one day at a time.

    You will get through this.

    (*hug*)