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My crush is dating a guy who is also dating a girl?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by EpicConfusion, Feb 25, 2015.

  1. EpicConfusion

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    I met this really nice guy and he's super sweet. He knows that I like him, and I wasn't aware he had a boyfriend. Last night he told me that he is involved with a guy who is bisexual I'm assuming, and that this guy is dating a girl but he ended up really liking my crush so he got her permission to date him at the same time.

    Obviously, this makes me very uncomfortable and I do not understand it. My crush told me that he likes me and that he would like to date me, but he won't cheat on the guy. He told me the whole situation makes him very uncomfortable and that it's hard to be a part of. He said he wishes that he had never agreed to it and that he's not sure why he did in the first place. He has also been very flirty with me even though he doesn't want to break up with the guy right now because the guy is going through a lot of emotional pain right now and he doesn't want to hurt him even more.

    What should I think or do about this? I told him I was available once he dealt with the situation. Should I be aggressive and go after what I want (I'm very bad at this) or should I just continue to be friends with him and wait until he breaks up with the bisewxual guy? I really don't know what to do about this.
     
  2. AdelOwl

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    From the information you've given us it seems obvious that he likes you, you like him and he's not happy with his current relationship situation. I'd probably just keep being friendly and supportive and wait for his relationship to end and then make a move. If you suddenly start becoming aggressive and pushy he may not like it, especially if he's already stressed with the current situation. Good luck!
     
  3. EpicConfusion

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    So today I saw him at the teen center that we both go to, and I asked him to play Life with me. He ended up leaving the game for a long time because the bisexual guy started crying and so they were cuddling in a beanbag for about an hour. Then he left the teen center completely to go give the guy his tablet that he had left there. I had to leave before he came back.

    So basically the entire time he ignored me and we didn't get to talk. I'm really upset about the way he treated me, and I don't think I'm going to be able to even be friends with him anymore after this. He made it seem like he did not like that guy anymore and he wanted to break up with him, but now they're all over eachother? I don't get it. Am I overreacting by being very upset about that? He barely talked to me the entire time I was there. It made it pretty clear to me who's important to him, and I'm not the person who is.
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    This is a very difficult situation for you and I don't think you are overreacting, but it is worth going back to what you said in your original posting as it may help to explain what happened today/yesterday:

    It's not clear from the above quote exactly why he is so bound to his current boyfriend or the relationship, but there is clearly some issue and that's really hard for you. Do you have any idea what it may be?

    I guess you have to decide if you are prepared to wait and see what happens. It's far from clear at this stage if your crush will move on and decide to give you more time and show you more attention. Are you prepared for that? It may test your patience and feelings a lot more.
     
  5. EpicConfusion

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    I'm not sure. I have thought about it a lot and I believe I am overreacting about some of the stuff. I barely know him really, and he knows his boyfriend very well I'm assuming. I don't know yet if he's a person worth waiting for. I think I will need to continue to be friends with him in the meantime while we get to know eachother. I tend to jump in headfirst when I like someone and I know they're interested. I "wear my heart on my sleeve" if you will. I guess I need to slow down a little bit because I'm expecting him to leave this other guy for me even though he barely knows me, which isn't fair. I need to chill out a little bit and just let things progress naturally instead of forcing it.

    I'm still not happy that he ignored me yesterday, but maybe something really serious was going on with that other guy. I guess I don't know the whole situation.