So, I'm a 25 yr old guy, never had homosexual thoughts until recently, I've started fantasizing about them since the beginning of the year, previously to that, I've always fantasized about girls and now everytime I look at a man, I can't see myself having Sex with them... Anyone else going through something similar?
It's possible that your brain is playing with ya. Don't try to think about whether you would have sex with them or not, since form personal experience that doesn't really help. Your mind is in control, so you'll be going back and forth. Interacting with people out in the real world would give you a better picture. What made you have those homosexual thoughts though, what was the trigger?
Lack of women in my life, started questionning and the thought "what if I'm gay" popped up in my head. Thoughts haven't stopped since
Random homosexual acts/thoughts pop up in my head, but I think what is more distressing is the fact that I never had these thoughts until recently. The thoughts spike when I'm around men, but I do also get thoughts with heterosexual fantasies and they're pleasurable compared to the other acts. I believe the distress and anxiety is coming from the confusion of what those thoughts mean, to my knowledge, a homosexual person finds homosexual thoughts pleasurable whereas for me, they're stressing the shit out of me.. I don't see myself dating a man either so I'm kinda bummed out with these thoughts :/. I also want to note, part of the anxiety is related to if my feelings for girls are slowly going to fade out, due to this confusion, I just don't even know what to feel anymore
have you considered HOCD? Gay OCD / HOCD Test - OCD Center of Los Angeles Another possibility is that you're bi. Of course, it could be that the reason that there aren't a lot of women in your life is that you're not interested in them enough to pursue them. But I can say that being gay is nothing to be afraid of.
To be fair, when I was around 12, I started looking at some of my male teachers bulges. It didn't bother me nor did it make me question my orientation because it was just a thought. I never had crushes on guys, and only on girls. But just last year I started thinking that these thoughts might mean something. Over these past couple of years they have been getting excessive and like you said, distressing. I'm not sure where or what my problem is, but it's interfering with my life. The thoughts also spoke when I'm around men, and is distressing because sometimes I get groin responses. Maybe it's because I am truly attracted to them, who knows... It's based on a fantasy right now and so it's hard to decipher... My feelings for girls are getting more confusing as well. Sometimes I even wonder that my attractions to girls weren't attractions at all, even if Ive had a groin response from select women... Bi maybe? Still deciding on that... Anxiety is also making it hard to sort things out.
First, Welcome to EC! Secondly, it is important to note that experiencing same-sex attraction or curiosities do not negate other attractions. If you have found yourself attracted and satisfied with women over all of these years, than it is extremely unlikely that that fact would change. Simply because there is now a curiosity here doesn't mean that it must be life changing. The identity that you have believed in all of these years isn't a lie. Your imagination is merely exploring new things. The primary force behind confusion and the anxiety that often comes with it is fear. Fear of the outcome. Fear of what we might discover. We don't fear what temperature it will be tomorrow because we are confident that, regardless of what the specific degree will be, we will have seen it before and be prepared to adapt to it. The reason why this uncertainty on the topic of sexuality is often stressful is because there is a part of the mind that is fearful of discovering that we are homosexual or bisexual. This does not necessarily mean that we are homophobic, only that we are afraid of the added adversity we might face; it might wasn't likely the life that we imagine ourselves to be living after all of these years. All of which are completely understandable. Most people have curiosities or fantasies that they wouldn't actually be satisfied in the real world. This should not at all deter us from exploring them, but it should remind us that the fact that we are curious means very little about our true identities. My advice would be to stop thinking that the presences of these attractions and fantasies will dramatically change your future. The likelihood of all of those years of attraction to women coming to an end is slim at best. Even if you happen to be bisexual that fact would still have little barring on your ability to be satisfied with women if that is who you see yourself with. Keeping that in mind, my second piece of advice would be to allow yourself to be curious, act on your desires in the opportunity presents itself, etc. Many people go through experimental stages regardless of age. The longer these feelings are repressed and feared; the longer you will be struggling to put them to rest. Sexual confusion is an extremely common life experience. Most individuals doubt or question their orientation and interests at some point in their lives. Nothing the OP has said has pointed towards a behavioral condition.
Hey wildside thank you for the reply, I thought of it being HOCD... for a bit I was kind of skeptical of it being hocd but, lately I've been having weird sexual thoughts on family members but most of the time they're homosexual thoughts so.. I'm kind of a mess here, I don't know where this is all coming from and it's Hella frightening... the last thing I want is losing my mind. And for some reason, my brain keeps telling me therapy ain't going to help. Jax12, I would look at guys as well, their bottoms legs, but I never thought of it of a sexual way, it was mostly to compare. I'm able to tell if I find a guy attractive, it wasn't a problem for me, now I have myself analyzing to see if I find them sexually attractive, which I have never done before. ---------- Post added 28th Feb 2015 at 09:04 PM ---------- Hey Gen, thanks for your feedback, I guess when the opportunity arises or when the time is right.. I'll test the waters. I'm also seeing a therapist so well see what he thinks about these thoughts but eventually, it's up to me to sort all this brain fog related to my sexuality up.
that link has a little self-questionnaire that can help you decide. obviously, nobody here is qualified to say that there is or is not something like HOCD, and even someone qualified wouldn't do it on a blog thread. but checking out all the possibilities can either give you peace of mind, or help you decide to look into it a step further. kind of like brain storming, if you know what I mean. People throw out whatever occurs to them, and then you figure out if any of it fits. (&&&)
