So I was talking to my music teacher about one of my best friends and how I can't tell her. I told him about the amount of arguments we've had about whether or not being gay is a choice and marriage equality. These arguments actually all occurred before I even thought that I may not be straight. He said that its a possibility that we've had so many arguments because she knows. Maybe, but she has the worst gaydar I've ever seen in my life. It could be blatantly obvious but if you told her someone was gay she would be so surprised. Maybe it's different since she's known me for years and we've been pretty close. Is that possible?
Personally I don't think Gaydar exists, because 1) Because when I came out everyone was surprised, but happy for me. Nobody "expected" I was bi/gay. 2) It's based on stereotypes of gay people But yes she may know, because she's know you for years, and has come to know you, your personality and what you like/ dislike. So it's entirely possible.
I totally think gaydar's a thing--and mine's pretty awesome even if I do say so myself. I've picked out completely unstereotypical people on a few occasions years before they came out. I'm pretty sure there have been people where I figured it out long before they did and in my experience it doesn't have anything to do with stereotypes. Everyone was surprised when I came out too--except the few gay people I knew.:lol:
To be honest, I don't think there is a gaydar. Everyone is inclined to their opinion. The thing is, the meaning of having a 'gaydar' can be used in a derogatory way. As the meaning of having a 'gaydar' goes it's only there to sort out who is gay and who is not, as we all know there are many types of sexual preferences. Why can't there be a bi-dar, hetero-dar or whatever-dar. This feeds into the notion of people not knowing the difference between the sexualities of someone being gay or straight. This also backs up people's ignorance to other sexualities. Years ago, I kind of used to think "They're gay, he's straight." But I had a situation where I was in a acting class and there was one straight-acting gay guy, whom nobody would of known he was gay and there was a straight guy who was as camp (act like the so-called stereotypical gay guy) as christmas, loved glee and every other show known to man, he would of been easily seen as the 'gay one' and there was another guy in my class who was bisexual, people who are bisexual may have characteristics of...for men they might not mince as much when they walk, for women they could be into DIY but may not go to Home Depot (I'm joking by the way, no offence to anyone). I'm just stating a point that we shouldn't live in the ignorant mind of saying whose gay, straight or alien, so that everybody can understand who they are, rather just accepting and getting to know someone as a person, rather then just getting to know someone sexual preference or orientation.
A "gaydar" is based on subtle cues that you pick up from people who are gay, which then forms a pattern in your unconscious mind and whenever you sense one/some of these cues in a person your gaydar may "ping". I would say that it goes deeper than stereotypes. It's possible that your friend might think you're bi/gay but none of us would know that.
I feel like I've been giving off some subtle cues recently since I've sorta come to terms with it myself. Like I kinda changed my style of clothing and some of the things I do to be more comfortable. So I think some people have picked up on it but I'm not sure if she's observant enough haha. I even started wearing a rainbow flag bracelet and I also have a bi flag one so we'll see if she notices. She probably doesn't know the bi flag though, but I feel like if she had any suspicion that the rainbow one would definitely tell her.