Hello Internet. This is the first time I'm posting on a forum. It's simultaenously liberating and petrifying. Let's see how it goes. I've been head over heels for her for over a year and a half now. I'm almost 23 and this isn't the first time I've been in love but this is the fullest understanding of being in love I've had up unto this point in my short life. A long story short: I was into this guy who became my fwb. Let's call him David. He started fooling around with her at the a couple of months later, as he professed he was in love with her. Let's call her Emily. After a short while, David suggested he, Emily, and I begin having threesomes. Being curious and bewildered, I agreed and surprised myself. We had threesomes throughout summer 2013. As a sensitive and deeply-emotional person, I felt my interest in him was growing and I knew I was beginning to care for Emily. We were becoming good friends at the same time. Emily and I were virgins before we slept with David. David had said he'd loved Emily from the beginning. At the end of September, I couldn't take being the third wheel in the setup and backed out for self preservation purposes. It finally dawned on me that David would never see me as anything but a friend, and I lost my love for him after a great deal of hurt he caused me. I began a relationship with a wonderful man at the end of October who invested in me and was one of the best people I've ever known. I was in denial about being in love with Emily. and thought that in time, (let's call him...) John and I would work. We had a wonderful three months together but by the end of it, I knew I was still in love with her and had to end things with John. It wasn't fair on him. John and I still keep contact today and are good friends. In April, After a dreadful house share (with a couple and David), I moved next door to Emily as there was an opening in that apartment block. It was the best and worst decision. My days were both much brighter and much bluer. I had escaped a horrible living situation and was now next door to my best friend; I was now living next door to the person I loved most in the world and was falling deeper each day. I finally confessed properly that I loved her. She was gracious, however told me she was straight... :help: Almost a year on now since then, I still want to be with her. I wish she'd give me a chance. I don't want to jepordise our beautiful friendship: I just want the chance to love her with my whole capacity. If anyone has any advice, it would be most appreciated. Thanks for reading, Snowdrops.
