For a few months, i've been quite confused. I am out to a few friends and am very comfortable with my best friend. He's straight and has a girlfriend but I have come to notice strange behavior. For the past few months, he has been making joking comments such as "fuck me in the ass", "oh you'd like that wouldn't you?", etc... He's also quite curious in asking many questions about my sexual experiences since the very beginning. Even going as far as talking about dicks. Even more, he will sometimes "tease" me by bending down, pulling down his pants slightly, rubbing his pants, pulling down his boxers and looking at me in seductive ways. When I ask him what he's doing he laughs and goes on as if nothing happened. Last week he asked me if when I was in a relationship I was curious to explore elsewhere. I asked him why this question... and he just ignored it and laughed a bit shy. It also brings be back memories of before I came out to him. He would always ask strange questions about how it must be like to be gay or that people must think we're gay since we were always together at school. I had also found all these questions strange back then. All this being said, I would not want to risk our friendship by trying anything stupid. However, he's quite handsome... so obviously I have thoughts in my mind, especially when he's doing all of these things. I didn't have these thoughts until he started acting "weird". We're going on a trip next week together just the two of us. I didn't really want to go, but he pressured me into going. He would also come up with excuses when i'd try to invite other friends. Another thing I found quite strange! What should I do? Confront him and ask him to stop? Is he just super comfortable with me? I'm just confused about the whole situation. To make things even worst, I am business partner's with this friend and it has become increasingly uncomfortable to work around him. Especially when we work 40-50 hours a week together. What's the best way to approach him, without making me look like an idiot... all while not pissing him off.
Hey str8bait! Welcome to EC! :icon_bigg First of all, I completely get why you have your doubts. He doesn't sound straight to me, or at least, he's not entirely straight. If that is the case, then he might have some struggles. He knows you are gay, as you told, and if he doubts whether he is straight, he might want to experiment. I'm not saying that's what he is wants, but he does things that point in that direction. I want to reply to this in particular: To me, it depends on what you want. You state that he has a girlfriend, so him trying things with you would be him cheating on his girlfriend. You did say he was handsome and I'm not sure whether you would like things to move on. On the other hand, you said you didn't want to risk the friendship (but if he does like you, moving on won't ruin the friendship). So it depends. If you want him to stop, then tell him to. But if you want it to be more clear (his actions and such), then politely ask him. :icon_bigg Good luck!
I agree with Quem that this friend of yours is either gay/bi himself, or that he's comfortable with the fact that your gay. Either way I would just confront him causually with a serious tone if you want it to stop. Your friend can't make you do anything you don't want to do.
Take this a little slowly...think out what you're going to say and how you're going to say it fully. You don't want to accidentally come across as hostile or confrontational. When you go out together, possibly just wait until the right moment to just ask around the field a little. Wait until the moment is right, and then ask him outright about how he's feeling about his sexuality etc. at the moment. Definitely make sure neither of you are particularly hyper etc. - my experience with that is a complete lack of seriousness on either side! Just a suggestion anyway, but good luck!
Thanks guys, always great to get a second opinion. I've also noticed that he's always saying he hasn't sex in so long. Almost like a key message... yet a few days before he was telling me how he and his gf got it on after 50 Shades of Grey. Three days after, he's telling me he hasn't had sex in so long lol. I'm thinking it may be another hint or just a way for trying to get me to make a move or something. I'm going to play it safe and continue to act as if nothing is happening. Hopefully it won't get too uncomfortable and if it does well i'll find the right choice of words to confront him.
If he's not totally sure about his sexuality either way, asking him directly and putting him on the spot could cause him to shut down. Ideally, he would come to you about it. If you must ask, just do it non-confrontationally and give him the space to think if he needs it.
I'm glad you know what you'll do. :icon_bigg To me it seems like a good idea. And you are right, his remarks about sex are like a message.. Anyway, I hope it all goes well! Good luck! (*hug*)
