Hate myself for being gay.

So sorry that you are going through this.

Just remember that it is NOT YOUR FAULT that you are gay.

Sweet heart just remember that you don't have to come out to EVERYONE. Just come out to the people that you know will not judgemental and mean.


One day at a time.

Hope you feel better soon hun.

(*hug*)

 

phoenix89, you could use a hug. (*hug*)

I'm sorry you feel this way. As you know, there's nothing wrong with being gay. You say "I wish I could be normal, be the person I was meant to be" but what makes you think this is not who you are meant to be? I don't believe in "meant to be", but if you do, then why do you think this is not the "correct way"?

You say your dad doesn't understand your twin, but does that matter? I mean, for you? You might feel that you don't want to make him go through this, but you should also think of your own happiness.

I'm so sorry you lost your church, community and friends. There are accepting people, there are accepting churches and so on. Don't try to stick with those that try to let you down, find those that take you for who you are. =)

Take care phoenix89.

 

Nothing else.

My dear, I know that being gay is hard but I don't like the way you see homosexuality.

"It isn't you fault" said SonicBoom...what the hell does it mean? Seriously...

Being gay is my nature, your nature, our nature! And this is normal! Completely NORMAL.

Do you believe that white people are more normal that black people? I don't. So, I don't believe that the love between two straight people is more normal that the love between two gay people. They are the same, equals.

The same about gender. I know that you haven't this problem but I do have it. People think that you must have male genitals to have a manly soul. Hell, no! I don't need male genitals to be who I am.

So, you mustn't be absolutely straight to have a normal life.
You can be gay and have a normal life.
It's possible, trust me.

I know you are sad because you lost your church and your friends. I lost them, too. You're not alone. (*hug*)

The world is full of people who are wonderful and gay-friendly. And full of gay-friendly churches, too! Just take your time to find one. When you have found it, you'll have a lot of friends because in the churches there are plenty of people!

I hope you can feel better after reading this.
Remember, I'm here for whatever (*hug*)

 

Just because you're gay doesn't mean you stop being the rest of who you are. You might have to deal with the fallout from the people judging you, but you haven't lost any of who you are. Your dreams are intact. You can still raise a family if you want one, and fall in love if you want to. If anything, knowing who you are will make your dreams easier to attain.

As far as church goes, I think you should watch this. I think it might help. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezQjNJUSraY

I know it seems really complex and scary and awful right now, but it will be OK eventually.

 

Hey there, I feel sorry that you are going through tough time.(*hug*)

I used to feel somewhat similar about being gay. I am yet to come out to parents so even now once in a while I get some random thoughts. I know how hard that feels. But I do not allow them to grow. I know the reality. There is no bargaining. The best form of happiness of life is being authentic and living your life truly for yourself.

You can refer to five stages of denial - acceptance process and gain some confidence that eventually you will reach the last stage of acceptance.

Nothing. If some people leave you, you can be rest assured that they were never yours truly. Everyone of us is on our own here. Sooner or later, some people will move out of your life and some new people will enter. That is not going to stop regardless of your orientation. Those who love you will keep on loving you and will support you. BUT it is ultimately your decision where you want to move forward in your life - to live for your own happiness or to live for happiness of others.

For now, I think you are surrounded by lot of FEAR. I would personally advice about surrounding yourself with FAITH. Fear and Faith- both ask to believe in something which is yet to come then why not to believe in some positivity, some hope?

Keep faith in yourself - things will eventually be alright. (*hug*)

Discuss with some supportive friends. Try going to local LGBT support centers and meet new people.

Don't let your faith die..

 

You lost your faith because you think you need a church to be spiritually fond of God, don't you?
It doesn't work this way.
Doctrine is useless. A person can love God and never go to church, for example, but I realized that most gays haven't enough strenght to do this, to be Christian and gay at the same time.

I don't blame you for this but I suggest you thinking about what you feel for God. Only you and God. No churches, no community, no friends, no relatives...
Obviously, take your time. Do it when you're ready, because you haven't enought strenght now.

How do you learn to be happy and gay? It's up to you. I cannot say what you must to do or to think, but I think you need to resolve your spiritual problems because maybe they are the point of all.

 

It sounds like you'd feel better if you found a new church community that you could be part of.

I don't know what's in your area, but you could look up and see if there are any welcoming UU congregations. The UUs will accept whatever your faith is/was and your sexuality. The first principle UUs live their lives by is "The inherent worth and dignity of every person", I enjoy the community/social aspects of my UU church, as well as the spiritual/religious aspects.

 

You should NOT hate yourself, hon! You are perfect and there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Just because your church doesn't get it, your dad doesn't get it and whomever else don't get it, it doesn't mean that you're not a "normal" person. What's normal and who gets to define what's normal, anyway? If you don't feel happy at home, maybe it's time you started thinking about moving to a new place, start over, meet new people, make new friends. And just allow yourself to be happy. Stop worrying about what other people have to say. You need to start living your live. If someone can't handle your awesomeness, then it's their problem, not yours.

(*hug*)

 

You sound like a really good person, phoenix89. I hope everything works out for you and you become happy with who you are.

 

That's totally fine if you're not ready for that. I didn't want to sound pushy, sorry.

 

Okay good. I hate coming off as pushy and I feel like I do a lot.
I haven't come out to my church yet, but I am not nervous about their reaction at all, because their reaction when a lesbian couple that had been together for years got married last year in Hawaii was something along the lines of "why didn't they tell us? I wanted to make them a cake!"

Also, don't hate yourself for who you are. I have on several occasions over my life, and it's just not good. It's not helpful or productive, and it's bad for you.

 

You should NOT hate yourself, you are a great woman no matter what anyone may say. You were born as you should be, a beautiful gay women, be proud of that, it is not abnormal or normal to be gay, it is just who we are. I hate the term "normal", in today's society the definition of normal seems to be size 0 straight women and masculine straight guys. But to me no one in the world is normal, we are all different and that is exactly how it should be.

But, I understand exactly where you are coming from, when I was 6 I knew I was gay, just back then I did not have a word for it, but when I hit high school (age 11) I quickly came to learn that being different in any way would get you into a lot of trouble with the other class mates. And due to circumstances at school I decided that I was going to live a heterosexual life, or as I called it back then "A normal life", my only regret is not accepting who I was back then. I should have never let society tell me who I was or what I should believe, and neither should you. Keep your chin up and smile to the world no matter what it throws at you.

 

Phoenix, my heart goes out to you. The truth is that I am a Christian, and I believe that you are a masterpiece in God's eyes. If you feel broken, He can mend the pieces. You are created in Love, and you do have value. Do not give up on yourself, and do not cease to believe that a brighter future lies ahead. You will be in my prayers tonight, dear one.

 

This may sound a little stupid but when I feel low about my sexual orientation I often think about how small the queer dating pool is and that me being into women helps to make that pool a little bigger and a little more colourful. And I think about the woman who I'll be with one day, who I'll make happy, and how different her life would be if it wasn't for me being attracted to women (maybe she'd even end up alone), and how much each of us matters to the community.
I believe you're the person you was meant to be. You said that your twin sister is gay but your dad doesn't understand. If you wasn't gay yourself you might not understand as well but like this she's lucky to have you, to have you the way you are - the way you can truly understand what she's been going through. It's a big gain, I think. (*hug*)