Recently I came out as bisexual to a few of my friends, but now I am questioning whether I am bisexual or just plain gay. I am attracted to guys way more than I am attracted to girls. I voiced my concerns to one of my good friends and he told me that I may be trying to convince myself that I am bisexual to make myself feel better about being gay. I am sexually and romantically attracted to men and only a bit sexually attracted to women. I don't know if I want to tell everyone I am gay because I am afraid of the repercussions from family and friends. I don't know what to feel.
Hey Theo! First of all, congrats on coming out to some friends. It's always nice to have extra support when going through this journey of discovery. You have already done a great step, and that's accepting your attraction to men is way stronger than towards females. If that means you are gay, or have a stronger preference for male (while still being bisexual), is something I can't say, neither your friend. Can he be right? Of course he might, but it's still your decision, it's the label you feel fits you most, whether that's bisexual with a strong preference to men or gay, is up to you to decide. Now, if you, after figuring things out, find that bisexual fits then keep using the label. If you feel gay is more proper, then switch to that. The thing is, a label should feel right for you. If it changes, you have no obligation to come out to anyone with that label until you are ready. Your sexuality is not something you need to tell everyone, you talk when you feel safe with that step. If you believe that it will bring repercussions, then keep it to yourself until you are okay with others knowing. In the end, it's your sexuality so it's in your hands who you tell and who you don't tell. Don't worry and continue getting to know yourself in that area, you have time to explore and learn, and the difficult step has already been given (accepting the fact that you like men). Good luck! And I hope your worries can lessen a bit. A hug for you so that you know others are here if you ever need them. (*hug*)
I'd like to mention that when I first accepted my sexuality to myself I went a little boy-crazy for a while, because the idea was new and exiting.
I totally understand this.:smilewave I have a definite preference for guys compared to girls, and sometimes I wonder if gay would be an easier fit or just bisexual with a strong preference. I pretty much have a crush on a close gay friend, but all my friends think I'm getting with a close girl friend, who I know has strong feelings for me and I hug, hold hands and kiss her because it feels good and occasionally arousing, but rarely [I'm more into other types of girls anyway]. I often ask myself ''Gay or Bi? what am I?:tears: Technically I could be a pan/biromantic homoflexible, but I even question that and wonder whether I'm just plain bisexual or homoflexible [which can be considered either gay or bi depending on person]. The fact that my crush is a guy makes it hard to explore my romantic orientation, but I have had a biromantic life pretty much. My friend sometimes refers me as 'gay' as an umbrella term anyway. For personal and political reasons I like the term 'queer' and it captures all the shades of bi and gay anyway regardless of where I am on the spectrum.:icon_bigg From a young age we are brought up to dream of and be expected to live a ''heterosexual'' lifestyle like a 'normal' person. It is not surprising that many gays and lesbians will cling to this ideal hoping they still have a chance with the opposite gender. I think we should remain open when it comes to our sexuality but we might end up forcing ourselves to focus on the opposite sex due to society. We need to be true to ourselves though, in order to know our natural orientation. Labels are just meant to help describe us, and in no way should they limit you. For some sexuality is fluid, for others it is more stable. We just need to live our life, and get out in the real world and not be trapped by our expectations and labels.
