I am 16 year old guy going to an all boys catholic high school in a country where it is illegal to be gay (not really in forced but frowned upon). I see myself as masculine and i think it will be a surprise to most if im gay (based on societies stereotypes). I accept the fact that im not straight. That's as far as ive gotten. I am either gay or bi. Leaning more towards gay (kinsey 4 or 5). I want to be bi just so that i could maybe have a normal life where i have my own biological kids raised with an average life and not be persecuted by society. I find guys attractive and i do have crushes on some guys. Currently i don't really feel and attraction to girls but im not repulsed by them. I know i shouldn't rush to label myself but it's hard at my age where everyone wants to know who your dating or who you are taking to prom. Im willing to date both sexes but not willing to have an open relationship with a guy as im not ready to be out. Im afraid to date a girl however out of guilt because im afraid if i start dating her and she gets attached while im still figuring out my sexualty and then i turn out to be gay subsequently having to break her heart. Any advice!:bang:
Hey, science is getting pretty advanced for gay men. You might be able to still have kids of your own, check out the story about "mixing sperm" or whatever. In the end, only you can tell what your sexuality is. Oppressing it doesn't work nor does it help. You'll be fine in the end, society doesn't frown against homosexuality and such as much as it used to. You can still get married in a lot of places, and just be yourself. The faster you figure it out and accept yourself, the better you'll feel sooner. Just repeat after me: There isn't anything wrong with being gay. Science is helping that you can do everything anyone straight can do. Including sex. Just follow your heart on the girlfriend thing by the way! Only date a girl if you want to. Labels aren't permanent also. Don't get pressured by your catholic school to only date girls.
@nevers thanks for the advice. I don't really care about what the catholic school says though because im an open atheist.
My advice is that you may want to let go of trying to pick your orientation. It doesn't work that way. When I grew up, medicine classified homosexuality as a mental disorder, and the law classified it as a crime. So I wanted all those same things so bad that I just lived that life and prayed that everything would work out. Because I did have some faith, I believed that God could make those desires go away. But it doesn't matter if we're believers or atheists, wanting to be bi or straight won't make it so. It will only make us miserable, and make our situation so much more complicated that when we finally accept that we are gay we may find ourselves in a seemingly impossible situation. So, I'm not saying that you can't have your impossible dream of a "normal" life, but you might just take it REALLY slow before you jump into it. And if you take it slow enough, things may actually change in your country, like it has in mine. Or you might move! good luck
