I was just wondering. What really determines a person sexuality? How do you know if your gay or not. Because like when I read other peoples posts they mention like they watched porn or they masterbated or they have fantasies. But then when other people reply they say like porn/masterbation doesn't count or fantasies don't mean anything. So I was wondering. What really determines your sexuality? What methods actually are true?
Ultimately, I think it's mostly up to you. If you're attracted to only the opposite gender, then you're probably straight. If you're attracted to only same gender, you're probably gay/lesbian. If it fluxes between same gender, opposite gender, anyone you find attractive, you might be bi/pan/whatever. It all depends on YOUR emotions and feelings of attraction toward other people. In the end, your sexuality is only labeled by you. This is not to say sexuality is a choice. For example, I didn't consciously decide to like people of multiple genders. But I feel most comfortable identifying as Bi. Does that make sense?
The definitions of each sexuality is what determines it. I know I am a lesbian because I am a female who is attracted to other females and not to males. It's as simple as that.
A lot of things to be honest, A LOT. Some people watch porn because in real life that's what they are attracted to. However there are also others who watch porn for many other reasons. There is no set rule, where if you watch gay porn then you are gay. Doesn't always work like that, although for some people it has proven to be true. There are also lesbians in this forum that watch gay porn but real life would never participate. If you question your sexuality, then why? What is it that makes you question you aren't straight? If you look back at your past, were there any clues or hints that may answer or be related to your questions right now? There isn't a fixed reason as to why people are attracted to certain things, so really it's a wide spectrum. You may have heard that sexuality is like a continuum. If you identify as gay, that doesn't mean that you have to be disgusted by male parts to know. Maybe you need to experiment with the same gender to find out, who knows. I guess one method is to go out there and explore! Interact with people and see where it goes. I don't neccessarily suggest through sexual means, but just talking with friends and see where it goes. If you have anxiety like me it's going to be a lot harder, but not impossible. Sometimes, to advance in life, you need to go against what people tell you and find out yourself what truly makes you happy. That's what I admire in the LGBT+ community is that people will find the courage in themselves to show other people that they are different and they are proud of it. I found it easier to just go out there and explore because until you do so, you might not know what you truly like. Sometimes you just have to go out there and experiment, while others don't need to do so and say they just know.
For me, sexuality is what a person is sexually attracted to. On the porn/fantasy thing, I could watch heterosexual porn, but that does not make me heterosexual. But it can be helpful for people to explore their sexuality through fantasies, porn, and things like that.
The thought of being in a relationship with a boy disgusts me. I noticed this and that I was constantly thinking about girls and not the guys that I told my friends I had crushes on (I honestly just wanted to feel normal) and it took me months of going back and forth between you're lesbian, and 'that's ridiculous, you're just convincing yourself of that!"
So I guess you're on the far end, huh. It's interesting though because I find it hard to go against the norm. And by the sounds of it, it seems like you're able to do it easily. So dating, holding hands, cuddling, all that stuff with guys in general just doesn't do it for ya? ---------- Post added 6th Mar 2015 at 09:00 PM ---------- Cool, sounds like me actually lol. I'd have sex with anyone tbh, as long as they look attractive.
Yup! I mean, I have nothing against guys, but the thought of being more than friends just doesn't do it for me.
for me, it's like I just know. Men excite me. Women don't. I always had to really work hard and think my way through it for the few lame attempts I had with women. With guys, it's just magic, like spontaneous combustion.
Cool, your response helped me quite a bit, thanks for that. ---------- Post added 6th Mar 2015 at 09:41 PM ---------- Also interesting. Your last sentence is a great way to put how my experiment with a guy went today. I wanted to play with him, he wanted to play with me, it's all good in the hood. Although, I've always been nervous around girls that I would like to kiss... Female Kpop stars get me excited because damn, you gotta say they have a nice ass, butt and body. YUM YUM YUM.
