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Is my attraction to other girls real or imaginary...?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by suchconfusion, Mar 6, 2015.

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  1. suchconfusion

    suchconfusion
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    NY, USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Hello! So, I've been having this issue where for the past 1-2 years or so, I started questioning my sexuality. I've always likes males, but then I started to like other girls as well and slowly all of my attraction shifted from males to exclusively females. Which is fine. I'm just incredibly stressed out because I can't tell if I am actually capable of having a romantic relationship with a girl, or even a sexual one. In my head, I can, but reality is always different. Recently, I started to actually attempt to date a girl I had a crush on, but I ended up more confused because I felt really anxiouis and jittery like when you normally like people, but it felt strangely impersonal and not like a romantic pull. I have trouble liking any of my female friends romantically and most of my female crushes are short lived and I tend not to know them personally. Maybe I'm maturing so I don't fall for people as easily as I used to? It's just so frustrating because I was so sure about myself for once, but now I'm having trouble finding someone that I could actually have feelings for if I considered it. What if I'm just mistaking my crazy hormonal changes for being bisexual??? I'm even scared I'm just imagining everything. Maybe I can't actually like girls that way and I just want to be able to attach to them romantically, so I imagine it in my head and its all good and jolly until an opportunity comes up. Furthermore, there is a whole amount of factors that could be affecting who I'm attracted to and I just can't :tears: it is really really stressing me out. What should I do?
     
    #1 suchconfusion, Mar 6, 2015
  2. TheStormInside

    TheStormInside
    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Hey, hey, calm down. Take a few breaths, ok?

    For a long time I told myself my feelings for women were "imaginary" or I was just misunderstanding other feelings, like close friendship, but I'm pretty sure now that that was wrong. I just didn't want to deal with those feelings.

    I see a lot of worry here about why you might not be attracted to women, but what are some of the reasons you think you *are*? Something must have started this line of questioning in the first place, what was that?

    Having "trouble" liking your female friends romantically kind of indicates you just don't like them romantically. My understanding is that these feelings just happen, you don't have to make them happen. But if you are crushing on other females, that could indicate you are attracted to them, yes. And yeah, sometimes crushes don't turn into romantic relationships, especially if you don't know a person too well, and when you date them they don't turn out quite how you expected them to be. That can happen with anyone, gay, straight, or bi.
     
    #2 TheStormInside, Mar 7, 2015
    suchconfusion likes this.
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