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Sexual Confusion

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by A Unique Name, Mar 6, 2015.

  1. A Unique Name

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    Hey everybody.. Ah, sometimes life could really suck.. I definitely could use some support.. So, at about the age of ten or eleven, I started to have homosexual thoughts. My parents told me just to dismiss it, as it was "just part of my OCD". I tried to dismiss it, but I just couldn't do anything of the sort. About two years later, I became very close friends with a kid that said things that were very racist and homophobic. I'm not proud of it, but being the lonely kid that I am with not a lot of friends, I would just dismiss it or just laugh or whatever, but that all changed this year. One of my closest friends, as well as pretty much the only person that I feel comfortable being completely honest with (you're probably reading this right now), gave me the courage to stand up for myself and realize that it's not wrong for me to feel this way and think these thoughts. Well, now I barely talk to him, but I'm still struggling with what to identify myself as. He made this much more of an issue for me, because although I never liked him in that way, he made me feel uncomfortable with my thoughts and feelings, and like I was wrong for them and a bad person. I do have feelings towards some girls, but I feel more comfortable around males, and I think I'm more so homosexual than anything. I don't know though. If anybody could help me, please do. Thank you very much..
     
  2. Juli

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    I'm proud of you for continuing to stand up for yourself, I know that it was dfficult for you. Your big coming out plan was pretty awesome, and I think it will help build your confidence and give you some ability to stat happy with who and what you are, especially around your parents. I know they give you a hard time, but I also know that they love you. As much as you want validation from your friends you DON'T NEED IT! You're fine now, as you are.
     
  3. A Unique Name

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    Thank you so much Juli. It really does mean a lot. I've started to realize that I really do not need validation from my "friends" because if they can't accept me for who I am, they're not the type of people that I want to keep company with. I really do need to thank you though, because if it wasn't for you telling me that, I would have never realized, or had the courage to stick up for myself. And yeah, I know that my parents do love me, I just worry that it will deeply disappoint them. I already told them that I was confused with my sexuality, and they told me that they love me the same either way, but to make sure about what I am before I engage in any sexual acts, so to say. And thanks for saying that I'm fine, but I really doubt that.
     
  4. guitar

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    It may take you several more years & experiences to really figure it out. Sexuality is not a "gay or straight" thing, its a continuum. Let's say 0 is straight, 10 is gay, most people fall somewhere between 1-9. Your sexuality can (and likely will) change as you grow older & mature. I didn't figure myself out until my early 20s.

    Just know this: whatever your sexuality is, there is nothing wrong with you, whatever you wind up being. If someone does have a problem, there is something wrong with them.
     
  5. A Unique Name

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    Thank you, and yes, I do understand that. I'm just wondering like, if I lean more towards being attracted to males, but do have an exception with one or two females, does that make me homosexual, or bisexual? That's the biggest thing that confuses me. I KNOW for a fact that I'm not 100% heterosexual, but I do have exceptions for feelings towards females. That's why it confuses me. And that's what bothers me.
     
  6. PatrickUK

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    It's really up to you how you choose to identify. In your position, some guys would say they are gay, while others would say bisexual and neither 'label' is wrong.
     
  7. A Unique Name

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    Yeah, you're definitely correct about neither label being wrong, but it's just that it confuses me. I guess I should just try to not worry about it, as I am what I am, and a label can't really define me and my feelings 100%. I guess I just need to learn to live with that.