I develop secret crushes on women from afar, because I cannot handle the emotions that women make me feel. My boyfriend knows I'm attracted to women but I don't usually tell him about the crushes I have on other women so he doesn't get hurt or feel insecure, since I don't feel like I would act on it unless he was okay with it. I got back from living abroad and have been settling back home for the rest of last year and this year. There's this woman who I've seen at the park I've gone to for years and I never seen her before I got back. At first I thought she was pretty but I ignored her because it's intimidating being around someone really attractive and I don't even know if she's into women. I'm not a naturally friendly person, so I've just been watching her from a distance, as creepy as that may sound and I catch her looking at me too from far away. A couple of weeks ago she sat where I was sitting, but it was also raining and we were under a small hut. There are several of these huts in the park I go to. Anyway, she was very close and started exercising on the table I sat at, so I turned around and watched her, kind of hoping she would look at me and maybe I could say hi to her-- but she avoided eye contact with me the whole time. I have had this experience a couple of times in my college class as well, with a cute woman who is definitely gay, yet she looks away when I look at her. Really frustrating. Ever since that time, things have gotten really weird and the tension is almost impossible to avoid for me. She starts talking on her phone really loud and laughing and I feel like she is ignoring me. I know that there will be other women I can like some day but I guess since I go to the park by my house for peace and quiet, I feel like this is getting in the way of that, which is another reason I never tried speaking to her. I like sitting outside to clear my head of the other things going on in my life. I have a lot of desires towards women which I haven't been able to express so my feelings in a few years and they are very intense now. I can't talk to anybody about this since I don't really have friends in my life except my boyfriend, and my family members are either in denial or just don't know I'm into women. I used to have more gay friends but I kind of gave them up after having to change my lifestyle back then. I need to get this off my chest and maybe find some support about how to deal with these crushes in my head that make my emotions like a rollercoaster.
I know that feeling, I've had a major crush on my best friend for about three years now, but I cannot make a move on him even though I came out to him. Have you ever had crushes on any guys and made a move on them? Does your collage have a GSA where you can meet LGBT+ people? I don't think there is any magical "cure" for crushes, I know that this sounds like everybody else but, If you do have a crush on someone you know is a lesbian, then just ask her out, the worst that can happen is she'll say no. Just remember to try to remain relaxed by taking deep breaths and then go for it.
yea, with guys it's not so weird for me to be overtly attracted to them, since I'm female.. it wouldn't feel as embarrassing for me if it went wrong, as if it did with a girl. I worry what if she's straight or just reacts badly, I still don't feel comfortable approaching them :help: I have no problem approaching or talking to people I have no attraction to lol. I might look for groups at college that sounds like a good idea (&&&)
